Savage Tales: Vampirella #1 - Dynamite Entertainment

SAVAGE TALES: VAMPIRELLA No. 1, May 2018

Just what “Dynamite Entertainment” was trying to achieve when it decided to print this $4.99 “one-shot” is arguably a little confusing. On the one hand the title’s Robert Hack drawn cover is clearly a deliberate homage to John Buscema’s grisly painting for the old “Marvel Comics” Conan book from the Seventies, and resultantly conjures up images of “violent barbarians”, blood-drenched beheadings and an entertaining mix of sword and sorcery. Whilst on the other, the periodical’s contents disappointingly appears far more akin to something found within the comic book publishing imprint’s back-catalogued series “Savage Tales”; a bi-monthly which featured both “the most savage stories that comic creators have ever told”, as well as “a rotating cast of characters and creators”, and was rather unceremoniously cancelled after just ten issues.

Indeed, one of the most frustrating elements to this book is that it is shamelessly (and as far as the magazine’s front page is concerned anonymously) padded out with a ten-year-old reprint of Doug Murray’s two-part tale “Valaka” from the aforementioned abandoned title’s run. Admittedly, this back-up feature is disconcertingly the highlight of “Savage Tales: Vampirella” with its terrific tale of revenge, treachery, swordplay, manacled damsels and demonic rituals. But considering that this particular publication supposedly spotlights Forrest J. Ackerman’s co-creation, the 'paying public' must surely have rightfully expected its entire contents to focus upon their vampiric super-heroine, rather than see her replaced by some dubiously duplicitous two-faced villain from yesteryear? 

Sadly, Erik Burnham’s lead narrative involving the one-time “horror-story hostess” isn’t even all that original either, with the lead character yet again finding herself in a strange land with no memory as to how she got there, why she was immediately attacked by a quartet of unruly-looking well-armed ruffians, or how to fully utilise her array of formidable powers. Such disorientation genuinely smacks of Paul Cornell’s incarnation of Vampirella from 2017 and unsurprisingly requires “the daughter of Lilith” to once more stealthily enter a foreign city in disguise, simply in order to ascertain what untoward magical machinations are taking place to its mind-controlled inhabitants.

Inconsistent, yet predominantly pleasing to the eye, this comic’s artwork by the combined creative team of Anthony Marques, J. Bone, Fernando Ruiz and Daniel HDR at least provides some modicum of entertainment. Packed full of gore and internal organs at first, as the scantily clad protagonist rips asunder a party of ill-meaning ruffians, the quality of the illustrations decidedly deteriorates the closer the action gets to the conurbation’s snake-like ruler, and only seems to ‘pick back up’ in time for the female vampire to settle herself upon her dead opponent’s throne, having torn his astonished head off…

Writer: Erik Burnham, and Artists: Anthony Marques, J. Bone, Fernando Ruiz and Daniel HDR

Vampirella #1 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA No. 1, March 2017

Described by Paul Cornell as the “first issue proper” of “Vampirella”, this twenty-two page periodical must have utterly bemused any reader foolish enough to have thought they could miss the title’s previously published “teaser” edition. For whilst the comic’s script definitely contains the sassy, smart-mouthed she-vampire clearly demonstrating her dislike of incivility, impoliteness and a serious thirst for the blood of the unjust, it perturbingly starts with the titular character clawing her way up from some “caves under paradise” and immediately confronting a literal army of heavily armoured flying angels which supposedly “stink of hell.”

Admittedly, this bewilderingly futuristic introduction to the series is somewhat clarified by way of a brief summary of events at the top of the book’s opening credits. But so small an explanatory text box really is rather easily overlooked, and resultantly causes the Chippenham-born novelist’s narrative to instantly become utterly unfathomable and the iconic blood-drinker almost unrecognisable; especially when she subsequently adopts a short-haired look with “dull clothes” in order to not “blend in.”  

Equally as disorientating is the professional author’s increasingly aggravating insistence on having Vampirella’s additional thoughts annotated along the bottom of each page, and some astoundingly contrived leaps of logic. Why, for example, having completely surrounded Forrest J. Ackerman’s super-heroine, do the countless numbers of sci-fi sword-wielding knights simply allow her to lose them by flying off into the sky and seeking shelter amidst the ruins of Mount Rushmore? The winged warriors are clearly capable of following the female blood-drinker, and have much to avenge on account of the former “horror-story hostess” literally ripping the limbs of off some of their comrades-in-arms…

Jimmy Broxton’s scratchy illustrations are sadly just as off-putting as this comic’s storyline, with the “UK based graphic artist” seemingly trying to emulate the look of Stanley Kubrick’s 1971 dystopian crime film “A Clockwork Orange”. Such an instantly distinguishable look, complete with a plethora of phallic clothing accessories, would arguably have caused many of this magazine’s older audience to become somewhat nostalgically sympathetic to what the penciller (and colorist) was striving to achieve. Yet not even a plethora of diverse “droogs” is, disappointingly, enough to help save what otherwise appears to be a very amateurish series of breakdowns.

The regular cover art of "VAMPIRELLA" No. 1 by Philip Tan & Elmer Santos

Vampirella #0 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA No. 0, February 2017

Sold as a twenty-five cent “introductory priced issue” by “Dynamite Entertainment” in February 2017, this seventeen-page periodical must surely have demoralised all but the most ardent of “Vampirella” devotees with its utterly bizarre sci-fi script set “over a thousand years” since Forrest J Ackerman’s co-creation was supposedly last seen “defending the world from threats both mystic and evil.” In fact, as a result of the narrative’s futuristic setting and inclusion of laser weapons, it’s hard not to contradict Paul Cornell’s pre-publication belief that this comic isn’t apparently yet another of the publisher’s reboots…

Perhaps top of this comic’s list of disappointments is the Chippenham-born novelist’s conviction that a story featuring “the daughter of Lilith” facing a dystopian world “unlike anything she might expect – or want to defend” would be of much interest to the gothic anti-heroine’s fan-base. True, just such a tale is clearly the “beginning [of] a new and very different direction” for the one-time inhabitant of the planet Drakulon, and a modicum of interest can at least be gleaned from the adventurers’ brief exploration of the vampire’s creepy catacombs and cob-webbed crypt.

But, alongside its disconcerting space-age setting and disagreeable premise that humans now contain “a new sort of blood”, this entire book genuinely feels more akin to the series’ previously printed “Altered States” one-shot, rather than anything nourishingly new. Indeed, it is surely not the greatest of signs for the quality of a book’s writing when the magazine’s most exciting feature is arguably an announcement for a “deal with Lionsgate to bring [the neo-noir action thriller film character] John Wick to comics” rather than the magazine's actual content? 

Just as displeasing as the “Doctor Who” author’s rather lack-lustre and arguably pedantically-paced plot, are Jimmy Broxton’s somewhat scratchy-looking breakdowns. A frequent collaborator of Cornell, the “UK based graphic artist” undoubtedly stems from a similar vein to Vampirella’s original “black-and-white magazine” illustrators with a technique truly reminiscent of Jim Holdaway’s “Modesty Blaise”. However, when applied to such subject matters as advanced clothing, not dissimilar to that found throughout Judge Dredd’s post-apocalyptic Mega-City One, and coloured using a garishly pink palette, the penciller’s “classy, European style” appears far more akin to that found within the panels of an amateur fanzine as opposed to something promoted by “a [genuine] force in the American comic book industry.”

The variant cover art of "VAMPIRELLA" No. 0 by J. Scott Campbell

Vampirella/Army Of Darkness #4 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS No. 4, OCTOBER 2015

Dishearteningly, if writer Mark Rahner genuinely didn’t want the character of Ashley J. Williams to appear “too cartoony” within this “Dynamite Entertainment” mini-series, then his script to Issue Four of “Vampirella/Army Of Darkness” is way off target. For whilst the comic’s basic premise is seemingly serious enough, with the two titular anti-heroes needing “to stop a bunch of dumbass monk brethren from [inadvertently] unleashing” a battalion of Deadites upon the Medieval world, the veteran journalist’s handling of the zombie-killer throughout the story can at best be described as a tragic ‘tongue in cheek’ parody of the smart-mouthed protagonist appealingly portrayed upon the silver screen by actor Bruce Campbell.

Indeed, despite utilising such readily identifiable visual clues such as his metal gauntlet, chainsaw and “Boomstick”, the Seattle-based podcaster’s Ash is almost unrecognisable as the “exorcist of the Evil Dead [movie] franchise”, and it is no surprise that Vampirella has little more than contempt for the idiotic womaniser. In fact it would arguably make more sense if the “uptight vampire chick” decided that Lord Arthur’s battle against the Kandarian Demons would actually go better without the “Chosen One” messing everything up; “Protecting that idiot would be a full-time job.”

Sadly however, Rahner’s version of the “twenty-first century vampire supermodel” is not all that much more agreeable either and appears to have little in common with the comic book super-heroine first created by Forrest J Ackerman and Trina Robbins in 1969. Certainly it’s hard to associate the former “horror-story hostess” to the Pulitzer Prize-winner’s giant-sized winged demoness, who feverishly bites the heads off of her Deadite prey before consuming them… And just why, having been brought into this “mini-adventure” directly as a result of Ash’s buffoonery and mispronunciation of the Necronomicon’s “Klaato verata nicto” does Vampirella ultimately decide that her companion isn’t actually “so bad..”?

Fortunately Jett Morales’ pencilling for this particular twenty-page periodical is a marginal improvement on the “emerging” new artist’s previous, rather disappointing work for the title. Indeed some of his panels depicting the “Boomstick” making merry with the heads of several possessed monks are extremely well-drawn, as is the Philippino’s excellent single-splash drawing of Ash and Vampirella taking the battle to the Deadite Angels in the sky.

The regular cover art of "VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS" No. 4 by Tim Seeley 

Vampirella/Army Of Darkness #3 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS No. 3, SEPTEMBER 2015

It’s all too easy to see why Mark Rahner has described his process for writing this comic’s script as “if I were possessed and unable to fight the urge to spew it out”. For his mini-adventure’s drearily dull and unconvincing narrative is not only a confusing mess due to its over-reliance upon its audience having a comprehensive knowledge of “the events of the Army Of Darkness movie”. But it is also based upon the implausible premise that the medieval community which Ash finds himself residing within, are perfectly happy to court the friendship of vampires, just not witches; “Would you help us first in exchange? We would be in your debt.”

Indeed the vast majority of the veteran journalist’s tedious twenty-page long storyline involves the feudal “knuckle-draggers” simply putting Vampirella on trial and then talking as Black Friar Thomas, “recently returned from doing the Lord’s work in France”, compels the female blood drinker to endure a series of barbaric tests in order to prove she is not “a demon temptress”. Frustratingly however even when the super-heroine does somehow fail to blister despite immersing her arm within a cauldron of boiling holy water, her superstitious captors still quiz their “immodest” prisoner by enchanting “the dreaded” Necronomicon to “cry out when an untruth is spoken”; a plot device which surely makes the preceding tribunal a superfluous farce..?

Issue Three of “Vampirella/Army Of Darkness” would also appear to be utterly devoid of any of the “slapstick and suspense. Chills [and] laughs” promised by Rahner during this title’s pre-publication advertising. In fact all of Ash’s nauseating wisecracks and over-the-top buffoonery whilst acting as “a defense attorney” for “the daughter of Lilith” provides little actual entertainment and instead simply demonstrates just how badly the Seattle-based podcaster has mishandled scripting Bruce Campbell’s cinematic character.

Just as disappointing as the disheartening storyline has to be Jethro Morales’ inconsistent and decidedly poor artwork. Described by his fellow storyteller as an illustrator who’s “work just keeps getting better”, it is genuinely hard to fathom just how unimpressively bad the “emerging young artist” must once have been. Although having seen Jett’s original pencilling for this comic book, it is abundantly clear that something quite catastrophic has occurred to his well-rendered sketches between their drawing and subsequent publication.

The variant cover art of "VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS" No. 3 by Tony Fleecs

Vampirella/Army Of Darkness #2 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS No. 2, August 2015

Whilst Tony Fleecs’ cute chibi-like variant cover illustration, depicting a doe-eyed Vampirella playfully supping upon the bloody innards of some enormous beast, is arguably somewhat charmingly appealing. There is little else about this twenty-page periodical which is, despite the second instalment of the much-hyped four-issue mini-series consisting of little more than “Army Of Darkness” protagonist Ash Williams battling a demonic-looking Vampirella amongst the corridors and great hall of a Medieval castle.

Indeed, rather disappointingly, this ludicrously long and painfully pointless confrontation is a far cry from “the battle you’ve always wanted to see” which “Dynamite Entertainment” promised with this title, and instead appears to simply consist of a number of contrived farcical scenes which presumably Mark Rahner thought would somehow amuse his readers. Sadly none of the veteran journalist’s humorous sequences are in any way “hilarious” nor provide much in the way of “slapstick action”.

Admittedly watching Sam Raimi’s creation spend a staggering nineteen panels throwing everything from wine bottles, codpieces and even a ‘rubber’ chicken at the red-skinned winged monstrosity is enough to wring a wry smile from even the most forlorn horror fan. But sadly what follows next within the pop culture critic’s narrative is so confusingly nonsensical that any momentary enjoyment of this “Boomstick verses fangs” ‘team-up’ instantaneously evaporates as the bat-like demoness, having spent the best part of the comic book trying to eat Ash, suddenly asks “The Evil Dead” exorcist for help and blames a mispronounced incantation from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis for bringing Forrest J. Ackerman’s vampire super-heroine back in time to the Middle Ages.

Equally as dire as Rahner’s absurd storyline, which is incomprehensively resolved simply by the castle’s Wiseman tearing out the offending incantation from the Book of the Dead and letting Vampirella eat the squealing piece of parchment, is the unattractive artwork of Jethro “Jett” Morales. “The regular monthly artist on Green Hornet for Dynamite” is certainly capable of giving his pictures some dynamic pace as the “monstrously transformed Vampi… tear[s] through the medieval castle”. However neither the scantily-clad seductress or the chainsaw-wielding zombie-killer are terribly recognisable from the Philippines-based penciller’s drawings and much of the “emerging new” artist’s sketches are painfully inconsistent with one another; possibly to the point where the only “chills aplenty” to be found within this New Jersey publication are the wretched illustrations.

The regular cover art of "VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS" No. 2 by Tim Seeley and Alec Guimaraes

Vampirella/Army Of Darkness #1 - Dynamite Entertainment

VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS No. 1, July 2015

Based upon the 1992 comedy horror film directed by Sam Raimi, “The Army of Darkness” comic books have predominantly concerned the “Evil Dead” series main protagonist, Ash Williams, ‘teaming up’ with a variety of other popular literary characters in an assortment of crossover titles. Dishearteningly such publications historically have proved to be a genuine mixed bag as far as their commercial success has been concerned, with the franchise’s October 2013 one-shot “Army Of Darkness/Reanimator” selling a pitiful 3,751 copies upon its release.

For this particular four-issue mini-series though “Dynamite Entertainment” are clearly hoping for better things, having decided to pair the prosthetic-handed exorcist up with one of the company’s other well-known ‘fright-fest’ licences, Vampirella; a blood-drinking superheroine who was created in 1969 by Forrest J Ackerman and Trina Robbins. Indeed advertised as “the horror mash-up you’ve all been waiting for” on paper at least, this magazine would genuinely seem to have had a lot in its favour, especially as it should be “full of bloody chainsaws, fanged vixens, demon possessions and boomsticks aplenty!”

Sadly however Mark Rahner’s script is an especially disappointing sedentary affair, and worryingly typical of the veteran journalist’s substandard writing whilst on the short-lived poor-peddling periodical “The Twilight Zone: Shadow & Substance”. In fact it is genuinely hard to associate this twenty-page castle-based wearisome ‘whodunnit’ with the gory somewhat tongue-in-cheek shenanigans seen during the action-packed $21.5 million grossing cult motion picture.

Admittedly the Seattle-based podcaster’s Ash is every bit the wise-cracking ignorant incompetent as seen in the movie trilogy. But whereas on the ‘silver screen’ actor Bruce Campbell managed to also imbue Williams with appealing ingenuity and something close to determined bravery, this narrative’s disagreeable incarnation of Empire Magazine’s Number One Greatest Horror Movie Character smacks of all-consuming chauvinistic arrogance and genuinely purveys the impression that the entire adventure is simply a boring interruption to his drunken medieval womanising.

Discouragingly such an unimpressive storyline even seems to have detrimentally affected the illustration work of Philippine-based artist Jethro “Jett” Morales. The “emerging” sketcher’s original pencils/inks would appear to have been done a terrible disservice by Morgan Hickman’s flat-looking two-dimensional colours, to the point where both of the comic’s antagonists would arguably be unrecognisable if not for their iconic costumes.

The variant cover art of "VAMPIRELLA/ARMY OF DARKNESS" No. 1 by Tony Fleecs

Altered States: Vampirella #1 - Dynamite Entertainment

ALTERED STATES: VAMPIRELLA No. 1, March 2015

Advertised as a parallel reality in the vein of “Elseworlds” by “DC Comics” and “What If?” by “Marvel Worldwide”, this line of one-shot books promised to imbue familiar heroes with ‘new’ unknown identities and have them explore “strange and terrifying new worlds.” Promisingly for this particular narrative “Dynamite Entertainment” turned to Forest Ackerman and Trina Robbins’ 1969 co-creation Vampirella, a character to which the publisher acquired the rights in 2010, but disappointingly they have produced a somewhat garbled reimagining of the superheroine’s origin. One which frankly appears to have far more in common with the vampire purportedly being an alien from the planet Drakulon, than the more biblically-inspired creation later invented by “Harris Comics” and published in “Vampirella Lives”.

Dishearteningly, whilst the Billy Tan cover appears so full of promise, depicting an anxiously lost-looking ‘Vampi’, donned in space-suit, being surrounded by a coven of medieval-looking blood-drinkers, Nancy A. Collins’ actual storyline is a massive disappointment. Indeed the American short-story writer’s tale is best described as an abominable amalgamation of Gene Roddenberry’s original Sixties “Star Trek” television series with Edgar Rice Burroughs; “John Carter Of Mars” novels.

The book’s only horror being that events are solely based upon the hapless female lieutenant crash-landing on a planet where the inhabitants’ veins run rich with water, whilst the world’s streams, lakes and showers freely flow blood. As a result, disorientated and parched, space explorer Ella Normandy seeks refreshment in the only way she can by momentarily attacking one of the local males in a half-hearted attempt to drink his… water!?! Thus being burdened with the terrible title Vampire Ella. Such a woefully unimaginative tale is strangely reminiscent of some of the early low quality monster fad magazines Stan Lee and Jack Kirby would regularly ‘churn out’ during the Fifties for “Atlas Comics”.

Depressingly, Francesco Manna’s artwork is just as easy to criticize and dislike as Collins’ substandard writing, with the Italian’s illustrations appearing lifelessly flat as a result of them lacking much detail. Indeed it is almost as if the artist, perhaps best known for his run on “Crossed: Badlands” by “Avatar Press”, was simply going through the motions of using his drawings to tell this story, rather than actually trying to attract the reader’s eye by providing, the characters with any dynamic vigour.

Admittedly Manna’s humanoid bat-creatures appear suitably menacing and imposing. But even these large purple-skinned goggle-wearing monstrosities soon become lost amongst the uninspiring and impotently coloured twenty pages of artwork which make up this comic book.

Writer: Nancy A. Collins, Illustrator: Francesco Manna, and Colors: Viviane Souza