Howard The Duck: The Movie #1 - Marvel Comics

HOWARD THE DUCK: THE MOVIE No. 1, December 1986

Brazenly advertised in 1986 as “the official comic book adaption of the blockbuster new movie from Lucasfilm” by “Marvel Comics Group”, this first instalment of “a three-issue limited series” arguably proves something of a slow start for a storyline which supposedly contains “more adventure than [is] humanly possible”. To begin with, very little actually happens apart from the titular character momentarily demonstrating that he is “a Master of Quack Fu” upon two backstreet molesters, and later getting uppity with an exhibition’s janitor when the bespectacled cleaner theorises that the feathered fowl comes from a planet where “the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey, but a duck!” 

True, the twenty-two page periodical does begin well enough by inexplicably sucking Howard, as well as his sofa chair, out of his apartment block and off into outer space. Plus there’s even a few crazy panels where the billed extra-terrestrial leaps through a couple of advertisement boards, dustbins and nightclub bouncers. But none of these comedic occurrences actually take Danny Fingeroth’s script much further forward, and are soon replaced by a tedious, dialogue-heavy succession of sequences which include Beverly Swiztler literally talking the demoralised duck to sleep in her apartment block, and then later dragging the bewildered bird in a bag to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History; “Trust me, Howard. Ronette in my band used to date the guy we’re going to see. He’s a palaeontologist -- You know, studies dead animals.”

Perhaps most mystifying though is the New Yorker’s conclusion to this book, which suddenly has the duck turning his frustrations upon a fountain full of tourists, and snarling at them all to leave him alone. Obviously, the narrative needed a cliff-hanger of some kind in order to convince the comic’s audience to purchase the next edition (as the rest of this book’s contents arguably wouldn’t have). Yet this explosive enragement towards the Cherry Bomb band singer and some innocently hapless bystanders is as surprisingly sudden as it is abnormally violent.

Fortunately, this title’s one saving grace has to be Kyle Baker’s depiction of Howard, which wisely steers a course far from the look of the motion picture’s animatronic suit, and instead far closer resembles Val Mayerik’s original interpretation of Steve Gerber’s creation. Cute, emotional, lovable and hilarious, it is in many ways a pity “Universal Studios” didn’t decide to release “a surreal satirical animated film” instead of the live-action multi-million dollar box office bomb which they did, and employ the American cartoonist as the movie’s main artist.

Script: Danny Fingeroth, Art: Kyle Barker, and Colors: Glynis Oliver

Uber: Invasion #8 - Avatar Press

UBER: INVASION No. 8, August 2017

Reintroducing “the second of the three pillars of volume one of Uber”, the Battleship-class Ubermensch Katyusha, Kieron Gillen’s script for Issue Eight of “Uber: Invasion” was probably viewed as something of ‘slow-burner’ by the comic’s 4,053-strong audience in September 2017. In fact, to be brutally honest, it isn’t until the “poor little living atheist god Maria” shockingly blows off Comrade Olesya’s right hand a good third of the way through the twenty-two page periodical that things finally start to get interesting. 

Up until this horrifyingly swift moment of mutilation however, the Stafford-born writer seemingly spends far too much time focusing upon Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Molotov’s dialogue-heavy attempt to convince ‘his fellow worker’ to either invade Germany (and bring an end to the war) or reveal the secret behind her ability to manifest a shipment of catalyst from thin air, than is necessarily needed. Admittedly, these dialogues disclose just how treacherously untrustworthy the Soviet politician and his blonde spy’s motivations towards their “mystic hero queen of the Motherland” are, but in many ways this hostility can clearly be seen in the way the duo confidentially conspire with one another when they first meet at the Siberian gulag’s gates; “Olesya, tell me -- Has she taught you her secrets yet?”   

Far less obvious, until the comic’s end at least, is Andreevna’s motivation for gratuitously ‘disarming’ her “strapping” student’ and then sending the maimed young woman fleeing into the cold winter night wearing just a bloodied bed shirt. Momentarily, it actually appears that the surprisingly naïve "Manic Sniper" has actually deduced that Molotov has hidden a murderous mole within her training ranks and is going to gruesomely torture her enemy to death. However, such a vengeful motivation is quickly dispelled when Maria momentarily appears in the wilderness a good few days later, in order to help feed a dishevelled, sickly Olesya and reveals that she is in fact, trying to teach her student how to make the all-important bright red catalyst for herself.

Strangely, artist Daniel Gete also seems to somehow struggle with the plodding pace of Gillen’s storyline for this edition, as he disconcertingly appears to be unable to pencil “Blondie” with any consistency once she has escaped the gulag and spent a few nights buried beneath the Siberian snow with only a halo’s heat to keep her warm. Likewise, the illustrator’s renderings of Olesya’s three forerunners, with perhaps the exception of the macabre remains of the third, don’t appear quite as well-drawn as some of his similarly-themed previous work for this title.

The regular cover art of "UBER: INVASION" No. 8 by Daniel Gete

Injection #14 - Image Comics

INJECTION No. 14, July 2017

If it wasn’t for this comic’s horrifically over-the-top, and frankly juvenile, use of colourful metaphors, then Issue Fourteen of “Injection” would probably have pleased its 8,202 followers far more in August 2017. For whilst Warren Ellis’ prolific use of obscenities means that his narrative’s dialogue occasionally provides a modicum of humour, such as when Emma Louise Beaufort really wants her boss to “buy the iphone app” in order to prevent her from being literally sliced to pieces by giant claws of bright white light, the vast majority of this publication’s expletives simply get in the way of the storytelling, and persistently, brutally jar the reader out of the prose.

This overreliance upon Brigid Roth’s penchant for profanities is particularly disappointing considering that the rest of the Eagle Award-winner’s writing is rather good, and for once actually shows “the computer geek off the CCCU [Cross Culture-Contamination Unit] squad” getting into some seriously deadly fisticuffs with a couple of shovel-wielding louts; both of which come to very bloody ends courtesy of a Stanley knife across the throat and a screwdriver buried deep into the jugular. Such a gory scrap really is incredibly well story-boarded and smacks of when Ellis, artist Declan Shalvey and colorist Jordie Bellaire were seemingly at the top of their game in 2014, creating “Moon Knight” for “Marvel Worldwide”.

Equally as impressive is this twenty-page periodical’s genuinely chilling confrontation between the Irish dark-skinned hacker and “that old cow Kernick.” There’s a genuine “American Werewolf In London” vibe to Mellion Moor and the complicity of its locals, which the elderly bespectacled Professor beautifully encapsulates. Her boastful admission that she chained “that guy on the moor” to the ring knowing he would later be torn to shreds by creatures “from the Other World” is hackle-raising stuff, particularly when Derwa is shown to be ably supported by a veritable horde of shadowy, yellow-eyed sprites.

Regrettably, for all his good work sketching out this comic’s dynamic fight scene, and some simply breath-taking vistas of the soggy, rain-soaked countryside, the majority of Shalvey’s artwork for this edition is disappointingly somewhat off-key and wooden-looking. The Dublin-born illustrator’s sketching of Roth’s eyes, nose and mouth appears particularly inconsistent and resultantly, the lead character strangely only appears at her best when drawn with her hoodie predominantly masking her facial features.

Writer: Warren Ellis, Artist: Declan Shalvey, and Color: Jordie Bellaire

U.S.Avengers #1 - Marvel Comics

U.S.AVENGERS No. 1, March 2017

Described by author Al Ewing as a super-group who work “with S.H.I.E.L.D. while not being a part of it” and featuring a heavily-moustached Red Hulk, an alternative universe Captain America (who scarily resembles Bernie America) and the ever-effervescent Squirrel Girl, it’s easy to imagine that most of this comic’s 110,729 bibliophiles probably thought that they buying into some sort of tongue-in-cheek series similar to “Marvel Comics” Silver Age self-depreciating title “Not Brand Echh”. It’s certainly hard to understand just how this comic became the biggest selling book of January 2017, even if Rod Reis was commissioned to draw over fifty unique variant covers pairing an Avenger with either an American state, Canada, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, or United Kingdom, in order to celebrate the launch of the new series…

Incredibly however, Issue One of “U.S. Avengers” actually contains plenty of action-packed suspense, and despite its narrative being repeatedly interrupted by “camera pieces” designed by Roberto Da Costa to “hopefully convince the S.H.I.E.L.D. sceptics that A.I.M. is just people… who want to help”, it also proves a thoroughly enthralling read. Indeed, considering that the British writer’s script introduces all seven lead cast members, highlights the new mantra of Advanced Idea Mechanics, resolves the very genuine threat of the Secret Empire’s volcano base helicarrier and showcases the villainous Golden Skull, it’s incredible that this twenty-page periodical isn’t just a hot garbled mess.

Of particular note has to be the gobsmackingly good entrance of Doreen Green and her Flying Squirrels air squadron, as well as General Robert L. Maverick’s stunning establishment as the (new) Red Hulk. Admittedly, a dozen rocket-propelled gliding rats attacking a zillion drone missiles and an over-muscled, shade-wearing Gamma monster ripping into a floating ‘lava lamp’ might not sound the most convincing of plot devices on bare paper, but they truly produce some astoundingly good open-mouthed moments on the printed page; “Hey! What’s he gonna do for the other fifty-nine minutes?”

Equally as engrossing as Ewing’s storyline, is Paco Medina’s outstanding pencils. Presumably “influenced by the designs worn by the Emperor's Royal Guard in Star Wars, specifically in the headpiece design and their habit of holding long ornate staves”, the Secret Empire appear regally dangerous, regardless of the absurdity of their molten-based machinations. Whilst the Venezuela-born artist’s sketch of “the Muscle” going “full Hulk” into the side of the subversive organisation’s gigantic helicarrier can actually be physically felt.

Writer: Al Ewing, Penciler: Paco Medina, and Inker: Juan Vlasco

Conan The Slayer #10 - Dark Horse Comics

CONAN THE SLAYER No. 10, June 2017

Selling some 7,520 copies in June 2017, at least according to “Diamond Comic Distributors”, Issue Ten of “Conan The Slayer” contains a Cullen Bunn storyline which frankly never stops from the moment Jehungir Agha decides to take “ten mighty archers of Khawarizm” on to “the isolated island of Xapur”, up until the book ends with “that inhuman juggernaut”, Khosatral Khel, literally tearing the coastal town lord’s men to pieces with his bare hands. Indeed, such is the velocity of the North Carolina-born writer’s break-neck narrative, that at times it’s hard to momentarily catch one’s own breath before plunging back into either Conan’s desperate, head-long charge through the corridors of the ancient fortress, or the barbarian’s unbelievably bloody battle with a giant deadly fanged snake.

Fortunately however, the American novelist doesn’t simply rely upon a carousel of action-packed set-pieces in order to retell Robert E. Howard’s “The Devil In Iron”, but impressively manages to include plenty of thoroughly enjoyable narration whenever his cast are too busy fighting for their lives to actually produce any dialogue. These insights into the Hyborian Age hero's thought processes are particularly engaging when the Cimmerian finds himself hurriedly bolting the solid steel door shut to the demi-god’s own chambers, and later as he silently pads his way up to a dais with his “eyes glued on the sleeping reptile” whilst searching for a hidden “magic Yuetshi blade that laid Khosatral low once before!”  

Unhappily though, there seems to be little that Bunn can do to improve the likeability of the enslaved Nemedian princess who accompanies the blacksmith’s son throughout almost the entirety of the twenty-two page publication. Open-mouthed with terror and predominantly impotent with fright, Octavia seems to do very little in this tale except hinder the titular character, and even criticises his numerous efforts to keep the “girl” alive, such as when he temporarily befuddles Khel by throwing a tapestry over his head or categorically states she is not to follow him into the lair of an oversized venomous serpent; “Crom! When I tell you to stay put -- stay put!” 

Wonderfully keeping stride with all these scintillating shenanigans is Sergio Fernandez Davila’s lavishly pencilled drawings. The Spaniard’s understanding and ability to sketch surging muscle is really put to the test throughout this comic’s entirety, and although he occasionally seems to struggle with the consistency of Conan’s facial features, there can surely be no doubting the vibrant life which he brings to the two lead combatants as they continually beat away at one another from scene to scene. 

Script: Cullen Bunn, Artist: Sergio Davila, and Colors: Michael Atiyeh

Captain America: Steve Rogers #13 - Marvel Comics

CAPTAIN AMERICA: STEVE ROGERS No. 13, May 2017

Just why Issue Thirteen of “Captain America: Steve Rogers” saw an incredible increase of seven thousand readers over its previous publication is arguably anyone’s guess, as such a significant surge of popularity can surely not be placed exclusively at the feet of Nick Spencer’s script? True, the two-time Cincinnati City Council candidate does finally explain within this book just how the titular character fought during World War Two on the side of the Allies when “he had been an agent of Hydra since childhood.” But in many ways, this “untold story” is actually secondary to the twenty-page publication’s prevalent plot of Baron Helmut Zemo enlisting “more resources” for Steven’s plan from within the criminal community.

Perhaps therefore this edition’s success can be assigned to the wonderfully detailed Arthur Adams (and Jason Keith) cover, which flamboyantly depicts the Invaders in their heyday brutalising an entire regiment of Nazi goose-stepping goons in an effort to dismantle a salvo of giant rocket shells? This dynamically-charged illustration really is as characterful as it is colourful, and smacks of the super-team’s Bronze Age shenanigans by portraying plenty of fisticuffs, as well as smiles; something which soon proves to be in direct contrast to the actual interior script which emotionally describes a mortified Rogers realising that his actions have caused the death of his best friend’s father.  

What should be easily agreed upon however, is that this magazine’s focus upon the thirteenth Baron Zemo and his trek through some of the Marvel Universe’s most recognisable villains, proves a highly entertaining experience, especially when Spence simply leaves the storytelling to artist Ro Stein. Indeed, the six-sheet sequence of Heinrich’s son ‘socialising’ with the likes of the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew, Kraven the Hunter, Yellowjacket, Mister Hyde, Graviton, Serpent Solutions, the Circus of Crime and the Grey Gargoyle (politely sipping tea outside a shop front) makes for a fantastically fun visual journey…  And what better way of concluding the master swordsman’s massive ‘recruitment drive’ than by having it culminate with a double-splash featuring the fruits of Helmut’s efforts in their entirety; “You are with your true family now.”

Writer: Nick Spencer, Artists: Ro Stein & Ted Brandt, and Color Artist: Rachelle Rosenberg

Uber: Invasion #7 - Avatar Press

UBER: INVASION No. 7, June 2017

Kieron Gillen was quite right when he later wrote that the storyline to Issue Seven of “Uber: Invasion” “was a strange one to see come into existence”, for despite the comic containing plenty of the truly gratuitous mutilation for which “Avatar Press” publications are synonymous with, this particular twenty-two page periodical reads more like a medical text book for performing a major operation, than a comic book depicting the fall of Siegfried - the “First Nazi Battleship Fatality.” Certainly, it’s hard to detect any glimmer of emotion in the narrator’s ‘voice’ as they matter-of-factly recount the heroic self-sacrifice of African-American soldier Charles Rivers, and the pin-point precision attack by the “Zephyr” upon Markus’ throat and right eye ball with “diamond-edged blades”.

Arguably, such a monotone, “hyper-slow motion erosion” of the National Socialist monster, “sliver of flesh by sliver of flesh”, could have become quite a tediously gory read for this title’s 4,277 followers, with the assault on the German’s sight alone requiring a staggering nine frames in order to depict the cutting of his cornea and the subsequent self-rupturing halo activation which instantly disintegrates a third of the still-conscious Nazi’s head. However, that definitely is not the case here, as the text proves a more than compelling read by realistically describing the combatants’ options, considerations and consequences, almost as if they were authentic historical figures.

Gillen’s unexpected introduction of the red-suited super-swift Zephyr also ensures a surprising change to events from those anticipated when Razor’s ‘sneak attack’ upon a “fully-developed” Battleship causes no discernible damage whatsoever. Indeed, before “the initial five enhanced humans” somewhat nonchalantly stroll up to the sadistic Siegfried’s stationary, mid-punch form and take him apart piece by bloody piece, it momentarily appears that U.S.S. Colossus II is about to suffer an even more ignominiously fatal defeat than his older brother did in Paris.     

Topping off this clinical conclusion to the “first year of Uber Invasion”, is Daniel Getes’ vivid artwork. The penciller really manages to nail the sense of “speed with no kineticism” when illustrating the latest additions to the Allied super-human arsenal, by resisting the temptation to “try and get that Kirby-velocity” and simply capturing each “moment in the hyper-detail” instead. Little wonder therefore that this title’s British writer praise’s the “perfect” artist’s contribution in the magazine’s afterword.

The regular cover art of "UBER: INVASION" No. 7 by Daniel Gete