King-Size Conan #1 [Part Two] - Marvel Comics

KING-SIZE CONAN No. 1, December 2020

Potentially providing this anthology with perhaps its most emotional story is “Die By The Sword” by Chris Claremont, which rather intriguingly restricts itself to just an hour or two of time during the titular character’s tenure fighting for Yezdigerd of Turan against the Hyrkanian Nomads. This ten-page mini-saga initially seems to be all about the Cimmerian’s somewhat lengthy sword-fight with a female opponent who almost bests him with her lighting speed during the duo’s close combat. But then completely changes tempo, once the adventurer finally manages to deal a killing blow, and subsequently encounters the deceased's mortally wounded daughter during the chaotic battle’s aftermath.

Spurred on to try and make her final moments more bearable by trying to rationalise just why fate has been so cruel to the young girl’s dreams, Conan admittedly doesn’t deliver his viewpoint of the world as tenderly as the woman-child might want, courtesy of his gruff dismissal of the injured adolescent’s gods. However, the mercenary does stay with the increasingly weakening teenager until she finally dies beside him, admitting to her that he would enjoy sharing “a flask of ale” with both the youngster and her mother “in the next life…”

By far this book’s longest fable time-span wise is Kevin Eastman’s “Requiem”, which deals with the Cimmerian’s revenge upon a group of bandits who slaughter the village he was recently recuperating at. Disappointingly falling into the trap of simply turning the Sword and Sorcery hero into an unstoppable axe-wielding killing machine who single-handedly wades into the heavily-armed brigand’s camp without a care in the world, this rather unimaginative narrative isn’t debatably helped by the co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pencilling the tale too with his rather recognisable idiosyncratic art style.

Rounding off this comic-bound celebration, and possibly the best of the bunch, is the distinctly creepy “Ship Of The Damned” as penned by American screenwriter Steven S. DeKnight. Beautifully illustrated by Jesus Saiz, this feast for the eyes provides a palpable taste of horror for its audience as Belit boards a rudderless hulk possessed with all manner of macabre spirits, and only really disappoints with its ending which intimates that Conan knew his beloved was destined to die well before she met her gory end in Robert E. Howard's 1934 novelette “Queen of the Black Coast”, yet deliberately didn't tell the female pirate.

The variant cover art of "KING-SIZE CONAN" #1 by Carlos Pacheco

King-Size Conan #1 [Part One] - Marvel Comics

KING-SIZE CONAN No. 1, December 2020

Described by “Marvel Worldwide” as an oversized “special spanning the breadth of Conan’s life and times by the most dazzling array of creative talent ever assembled to tread the jewelled thrones of the Earth”, this celebratory comic probably still fell a little short of its readers’ expectations when it hit the spinner-racks in December 2020. Indeed, by limiting itself to escapades which are nestled hard up against some of Robert E. Howard’s most famous literary adventures, the concept behind such an anthology had arguably already infuriatingly hamstrung its numerous authors to provide its sword and sorcery fans with anything resembling an exciting adventure, before they had so much as put pen to paper.

For starters, the “can’t-miss Conan comic of the decade” begins with a ten-page long plot which leads directly into the first ever issue of the Cimmerian’s exploits, “originally published precisely half a century ago.” Described by Roy Thomas as being “more a vignette than a story” the yarn admittedly does a fair job explaining just why the inexperienced barbarian originally decided to visit a few of the world’s corners following his involvement in the infamous Battle of Venarium, as well as rationalising the youth’s somewhat bizarre choice in adornments and armament; “The [horned] helmet was my far-wandering grandsire’s. And Rion -- was like a big brother to me.” However, despite artist Steve McNiven dynamically pencilling Conan subsequently walking smack into a Vanir ambush en route to see the blond-haired people’s leader Olav, the truncated plot ends very abruptly with the bloody skirmish having only just started and the antagonist literally about to properly whet his blade.

Perhaps therefore far more satisfying is Kurt Busiek’s “In The City Of Thieves”, which very much acts as a precursor to Howard’s highly popular 1933 classic fable “The Tower Of The Elephant” by having the young Cimmerian disappointingly sit out an opportunity to encounter an aspiring wizard’s pet demons during his time in Zamora. Unwilling to take up a well-paid offer to guard the fledgling magic user whilst the student conjures up a chittering cloud of lethal sprites, the Boston-born writer instead has our titular hero arrive far too late to save the day, and rather disappointingly just depicts him looting the hapless deceased of their treasure before skulking off to investigate the rumours surrounding Yara’s mysterious citadel.

The original cover art of "KING-SIZE CONAN" #1 by Andrew C. Robinson