What If...? Dark: Venom #1 - Marvel Comics

WHAT IF...? DARK: VENOM No. 1, October 2023

For those readers able to overlook the unconvincing manner in which Ben Grimm momentarily becomes Venom, along with a few other bemusing contrivances, this thirty-page periodical’s plot probably proved pretty pulse-pounding in August 2023. True, the comic arguably focuses more upon the Lizard’s truly savage merger with Spider-Man’s infamous symbiote than it does the titular character. But it still manages to deliver a wonderfully gratuitous conclusion which is genuinely not for the faint-hearted; “You thought I wassss nothing more than a creature. You thought you were the ssssmartest man around when we were sssstuck on Battleworld…”

In fact, such is Stephanie Phillip’s portrayal of Reed Richards as the very worst kind of self-opinionated, holier-than-thou scientist – who at one point quite literally cuts his wife’s sound protestations short with a terse command - that a fair few bibliophiles may well have disconcertingly felt that Mister Fantastic receives his ‘just deserts’ in the murderous maw of Curt Conner’s ferocious alter-ego when artist Jethro Morales prodigiously pencils the large reptile bloodily biting off his head.

Disappointingly though, the actual storyline leading up to the death of the Fantastic Four’s ordinarily super-supple leader is somewhat head-scratching, courtesy of the author turning Grimm into a strangely disagreeable dullard. Of course, many within this book’s audience will doubtless point to the Yancy Streeter’s desperate desire to look human again as being one of the protagonist’s main drives. Yet so experienced an inter-dimensional traveller would surely never simply release the deadly Venom symbiotic simply because it pitifully taps on its glass container when he approaches it..?

To further compound the problem however, the writer would then also have any looker believe that Ben would subsequently turn to the Lizard for help in retaining his new-found good looks in an underground sewer-based scientific facility, and simply allow one of Peter Parker’s most prominent arch-villain’s to surreptitiously snatch the sentient alien from him. This entire scene sadly smacks of Phillip’s just wanting to replicate a similar situation seen in Tim Story’s 2005 “Fantastic Four” movie where the Thing, housed inside a giant glass chamber, desperately needs to revert to his ‘monster self’ before the antagonist defeats both Invisible Woman and her husband, and resultantly begs the question as to just why she didn’t pen for Connors to become Venom in the first place..?

Writer: Stephanie Phillips, Artist: Jethro Morales, and Colorist: Israel Silva

Fantastic Four #605 - Marvel Comics

FANTASTIC FOUR No. 605, June 2012

Despite its New York City-based publisher’s attempt to imbue this book with some semblance of pulse-pounding speed, courtesy of a disingenuous solicitation synopsis which sensationally declares “the team must literally fight to save their future”, Jonathan Hickman’s plot to Issue Six Hundred And Five of “Fantastic Four” is pleasingly slow-paced and simply uses good penmanship to enthral its audience rather than action-packed fireworks. Indeed, considering that this twenty-page periodical contains nothing more than a series of dialogue-driven, sedentary set-pieces, many of this comic’s readers probably still felt somewhat emotional once its storyline concluded; “I’ve missed you too, Stretch.”

To begin with the American author depicts a genuinely caring Reed Richards, who whilst delighted that the Thing is finally able to revert “to his normal human form for approximately one week every year”, is clearly still worried about his friend’s future, and therefore devises a plan to travel forwards one thousand years. Ordinarily such a plot thread could lead to all sorts of unbelievable flights of technobabble-fuelled fancy. But on this occasion the writer simply settles for penning Ben Grimm’s increasingly solitary existence, where even the immortal Franklin Richards eventually leaves the super-team “to run with the Gods.”

This decline is genuinely touching, as the Fantastic Four’s former powerhouse wearily wanders through an age where there are quite literally hundreds of Future Foundation graduates willing to put any unruly villain back in their place without a moment’s notice. As a result, Benjamin becomes increasingly mournful that the original roster are long dead, and, with typical Yancy Street humour, that the former astronaut hasn’t even “had a hamburger in fifteen hundred years.”

Much of this pathos is generated by the prodigious pencilling of Ron Garney, whose ability to sketch the Thing with an increasingly long beard, really helps sell the eternity which has passed in between Reed Richards’ time skips. Interestingly however, the artist doesn’t seem to be quite on his best game at the book’s start, when strangely both Mister Fantastic and his father seem to be lacking in facial detail – at least until the narrative has them arriving in the Big Apple in 3012 A.D. aboard an invisible observation platform.

Writer: Jonathan Hickman, Artist: Ron Garney, and Color Artist: Jason Keith

The Immortal Hulk #41 - Marvel Comics

IMMORTAL HULK No. 41, February 2021

Promising that artist Joe Bennett would be pencilling a stonkingly good rematch against the titular character’s long-time rival, Benjamin Grimm, Al Ewing’s script for Issue Forty One of “Immortal Hulk” must have proved something of a disappointment to the majority of its readers with its predominantly sedentary storyline. True, Bruce Banner’s alter-ego does manage to swap a few punches with the Fantastic Four’s strongest member, but the jade giant’s “puny” physical condition makes this confrontation so absurdly one-sided that it arguably comes as something of a relief when the duo set aside their differences and tuck into a hot meal at a local diner; “Big beef dog and all the extras. Made with my own rocky hands.”

In addition, the usually kind-hearted Thing is disappointingly penned as being a bit of a dislikeable bully in “The Man Downstairs”, who having quickly realised that something is badly amiss with his opponent’s famous formidable super-strength, appears to take great delight in laying down a significant smackdown upon his surprisingly fragile foe. Such a disconcertingly dark version of “Aunt Petunia's favourite nephew” is explained away by the British writer as being payback for when the Hulk “beat me into a coma on my honeymoon”. However, it is still debatably difficult to reconcile a deeply religious hero who had his Bar Mitzvah “thirteen years since the Cosmic Rays” with this comic’s incarnation who seemingly revels in the stark terror of a clearly surrendering adversary.

Sadly, the former “2000 A.D.” author’s narrative also seems to rely far too heavily upon a few illogical plot points to push this twenty-page periodical along. For starters, having established in this ongoing book’s previous instalment that in order to change back into his human guise Joe Fixit’s persona has to literally tear himself out from inside the Hulk’s body, Ewing suddenly reverts back to the green Goliath’s old transformation process simply so he can pen for the Thing to punch an utterly defenceless ‘Bruce Banner’. This inconsistency is then followed up by the authorities, who have been desperate to incarcerate the founding Avenger since the Iowa massacre, impotently standing outside a cordoned-off funfair, whilst Mister Fantastic allows his team-mate to enjoy a cold beer with their ‘detainee’ and ultimately let the man go scot-free.

The regular cover art of "IMMORTAL HULK" #41 by Alex Ross

Marvel Two-In-One #3 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 3, May 1974

Featuring a Gil Kane cover illustration which would actually go on to serve “as the template for Daredevil’s 1975 Slurpee” cup, as well as promising a sense-shattering shoot-out involving the Man Without Fear and a gang of well-armed Black Spectre soldiers, Steve Gerber’s narrative for Issue Three of “Marvel Two-In-One” probably ended up deeply frustrating the vast majority of its readers in May 1974. Indeed, with the bi-monthly’s repeated references to the storylines of other “Marvel Comics”, such as “Shanna, The She-Devil” and “Ka-Zar”, as well as the book’s unfinished plot disagreeably continuing straight into the next edition of “Daredevil”, it must have been difficult for this nineteen-page periodical’s audience not to see this publication as anything other than a blatant advertisement for some of editor Roy Thomas’ other titles.

To make matters worse, even the half-realised insight into “Daredevil’s ongoing battle with Nekra and the Mandrill” which this comic does depict isn’t arguably all that satisfying, courtesy of the Missouri-born author’s insistence to predominantly focus the opening third of “Inside Black Spectre!” on Reed Richards’ experiments upon the child-like Wundarr in order to design the super-powered alien a brand new costume. True, this sequence does lead to an enjoyable acrobatic display from Matt Murdock’s alter-ego, but it’s then rather trivialised by depicting the blind crime-fighter having to ask the Fantastic Four for his baton back like he was some hapless child who had inadvertently kicked their ball over into someone’s back garden; "Listen… I need your help. I, eh, left my billy club up on your roof, and…”

Adding to this book’s choppiness is an utterly whacky theatre date Murdock ‘enjoys’ with Foggy Nelson’s mysterious sister Candace. Featuring an actor dressed as Captain America who is then brutally gunned down by a suicidal Adolf Hitler lookalike, this farcical fuss seems to have been solely manufactured as a contrivance to have Matt chase after the Black Widow’s “bizarre aircraft” across New York’s skyline, and makes as much sense as Daredevil subsequently attempting to drop-kick Ben Grimm into submission so as to steal the Fantasticar from the top of the Baxter Building.

Resultantly, perhaps this comic’s one saving grace are Sal Buscema’s layouts, which together with Joe Sinnott’s inking, incredibly manage to bring many of the aforementioned oddities to dynamic life. The heroic duo’s fisticuffs against Nekra and her goon squad appear especially well-pencilled, with an enraged Ben Grimm tossing around his would-be attackers like they were skittles, and completely ignoring the best efforts of Natasha Romanova to bring the Thing down with her famous Widow’s Sting.

Writer: Steve Gerber, Artist: Sal Buscema, and Inker: Joe Sinnott

Marvel Two-In-One #2 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 2, March 1974

Considering that many readers of Steve Gerber’s narrative for Issue Two of “Marvel Two-In-One” most likely bought the comic based upon its cover illustration’s very specific claim to feature a story with “Namor and Ben Grimm -- side by side in battle for a man’s life”, this nineteen-page periodical’s actual plot probably came as something of a disappointment to its audience in March 1974. For whilst The Thing and the Sub-Mariner do eventually “work in tandem for the nonce - - [to] defeat what seems to be a mutual foe”, the pair are portrayed as predominantly going about their separate day-to-day business until Namorita’s desire to protect the child-like minded Wundarr brings them together towards the very end of the book.

In fact, the Missouri-born writer seems infinitely more interested in penning some additional background for his co-creation from Beta Rigel, than he does pitting this publication’s lead characters against the extra-terrestrial robot assassin known as a Mortoid. And rather disconcertingly, the Will Eisner Comic Book Hall of Famer seems to have been scratching around for inspiration even for that, at least until he appears to have sought inspiration from Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster’s origin story for Superman; “Hektu was our world’s greatest astronomer until that fateful day he went mad, insisting that our planet Dakkam was doomed - - That our sun would go nova, reducing our sphere to a cinder… He built a rocketship to take himself and his family away…”

Mercifully however, none of these quibbles stop “Manhunters From The Stars” from being a darn good yarn, with Namor in particular providing plenty of amusement on account of his infuriating pomposity. Believing panic “is but proof of his guilt” and that none may harm any person “under the protection of Namor and Atlantis” no matter where within New York City they may be, the human hybrid lurches from one misunderstanding to the next, perhaps inevitably ending up trading blows with the Fantastic Four’s strongest member in Times Square.

Providing plenty of prodigiously pencilled panels, not to mention an incredible amount of Namorita’s bare flesh, is Gil Kane, whose instantly recognisable style provides Ben Grimm with some phenomenally powerful punches as he batters away against the likes of Wundarr and the Sub-Mariner. Indeed, in some ways it is a pity that Gerber didn’t allow for this comic’s two central attractions to slug it out against one another for a while longer, rather than cut their violent hostilities short by depicting the pair siding together against a common alien foe.

Writer: Steve Gerber, Penciller: Gil Kane, and Inker: Joe Sinnott

Marvel Two-In-One #31 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 31, September 1977

It is genuinely hard to reconcile the fact that Issue Thirty One of “Marvel Two-In-One” was penned by the same man who would later go on to spearhead “DC Comics” Eighties revival of “The New Teen Titans” with George Perez. For whilst Marv Wolfman’s seventeen-page long narrative occasionally proves an entertaining experience, such as when the Thing battles a couple of impressively drawn HYDRA-Foils in the Thames and makes them “go boom”, the vast majority of it contains so many ludicrous plot devices that it is little wonder the former “Marvel Comics Group” Editor-in-Chief purportedly described this ‘Spider-Woman’ story-arc as “poor” and “hideous” in “a late 1978 interview”.

To begin with “My Sweetheart.. My Killer!” features an almost schizophrenic Benjamin Grimm, whose cover illustration depicting him with five toes on one foot and four on the other is genuinely the least of the human mutate’s problems, as he desperately searches the depths of the River Thames for “the Spider-broad… ‘cause only she knows where [the abducted] Alicia is.” Grief-stricken, distraught at the prospect of “my gal” being dead, and threatening to “re-arrange yer face… [as] my Alicia’s too important ta me ta not take off the kid gloves” Bashful Benjy then incomprehensibly lets his foe go simply because the hypnotised HYDRA agent explains “the explosion must have cleared my mind”, yet made her memories as to where she took Masters “vague in my mind.”; “Awright, Lady, gimme yer hand… an’ let’s go sit down fer awhile. Mebbe, if ya rest up a bit, you’ll start rememberin’.” 

Such a total change of heart for the series’ main protagonist is as convincing as HYDRA selecting a blind sculptress to be the first of the terrorist organisation’s “invincible warriors”, especially when the Inkpot Award-winner describes the Thing as being “mad, perhaps madder than he has ever been before in his life.” Little wonder Ron Wilson subsequently pencils the rock-skinned powerhouse rather disconcertingly gnawing some metal tubing apart with his bare teeth…

Equally as poorly conceived is Wolfman’s revelation that the middle-aged heavily-moustached criminal Chauncy is in reality a Dutch “specially trained” Nazi agent who during the war buried a treasure worth “untold millions” somewhere in the House of Commons. Admittedly it’s not too hard to believe that a German spy may well return to the location of his wealth after the political institution had been rebuilt, and subsequently become confused as to precisely where he concealed his fortune. But just why would Heinrich Buerer create a map by carefully etching “the exact location of the treasure on” five pieces of “valuable merchandise” so he would decades later have to locate all of the “separated” artefacts first? 

Writer/Editor: Marv Wolfman, Pencils: Ron Wilson, and Inks: Irv Watanabe

Marvel Two-In-One #30 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 30, August 1977

Arguably little more than a vehicle to firmly establish then-publisher Stan Lee’s copyright to the name Spider-Woman, following the character’s “Marvel Spotlight” debut in February 1977, this rather inconsistent Marv Wolfman narrative is made all the more inaccessible by the Editor’s disconcertingly bizarre attempt to imbue all of his English locals with a stereotypical ‘Limey’ dialect that causes armed robbers to repeatedly refer to one another as “mate” and “lad” as they go about their nefarious business, and has London’s truncheon-armed “blinkin’ Bobbies” commenting “It’s like the ruddy Blitz all over again!” whenever an explosion occurs. Indeed the irritation caused by the American author’s obsession for his characters’ persistent (and inaccurate) verbalisation of “‘ave, ‘old and ‘ey!” is only bested throughout the seventeen-page periodical’s dialogue by his insistence on having every Policeman and Queen’s Guard yelling “bloody” profanities whenever trouble occurs.

Blade’s co-creator also seems to have tried to cram Issue Thirty of “Marvel Two-In-One” with as many coincidental contrivances as possible. The biggest being Ben Grimm just “‘appenin’” to hear a “muffled explosion” whilst nonchalantly passing Westminster Abbey “on his way back to his London hotel” and then subsequently literally bumping into the two self-same thieves responsible for the blast inside the Tower of London. Indeed The Thing’s early observation that “everywhere I go, problems!” Problems!” is a major understatement considering the numerous unlucky happenstances which befall the “ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Benjamin J.” within this magazine; “Y’Got that, Creepy?”

Quibbles as to Wolfman’s manufactured plot development and annoying clichéd colloquialisms aside, the biggest disappointment of the “Battle Atop Big Ben!” has to be the Shazam Award-winner’s ineffective use of Jessica Drew. For although the HYDRA agent features rather prominently throughout the adventure, Spider-Woman’s subjugation to the worldwide subversive organisation’s “superior hypnosis techniques” provides the colourfully-costumed “dame” with scant opportunity to display any sort of personality and instead disappointingly restricts “Web-Head’s sister” to such banal statements as “Impossible” My spider venom-blast didn’t stun you? But it could kill a raging rhinoceros” and “H-He’s stronger than they told me. I can’t destroy him… not yet. Better retreat… Return for further instructions.”

Fortunately John Buscema’s well-detailed breakdowns still helps make this Bronze Age “battle over London for the life of Alicia Masters!” a rather entertaining experience, courtesy of the Port Jefferson-born artist’s animated illustrations of the comic’s “orange monster” battling the brightly garbed, gracefully gliding anti-heroine, and the machinations of characterful criminals Chauncy and Trevor.

Writer/Editor: Marv Wolfman, Pencils: John Buscema, and Inks: Pablo Marcos

Marvel Two-In-One #29 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 29, July 1977

One of Marv Wolfman’s earliest issues as writer for “Marvel Two-In-One”, “Two Against Hydra” disappointingly demonstrates just how badly manufactured the two-time Jack Kirby Award-winner’s narratives could be during the Bronze Age of Comics. For whilst Benjamin Grimm and his girlfriend Alicia Masters vacation to London England isn't overly contrived, even if it includes them having to finish “Reed’s mission… [to] dig up Doctor Louis Kort…[and] get ‘im ta fix up Deathlok ‘fore corpse-face dies!” The Brooklyn-born author’s attempt to explain Shang Chi’s presence within this tome by co-incidentally just happening to be gloomily cogitating outside an address within which the blind sculptress screams as she unluckily slips “to the floor” and ‘felt something horrible there’ is positively preposterous.

Indeed the entire ludicrous situation was clearly penned simply to ‘force’ “Davy Carridine’s stand-in” to mistake “the ever-lovin’, blue-eyed idol o’millions” as a threatening monster and subsequently tackle The Thing in one of the most out-matched confrontations of the former MI-6 employee's career. Certainly it is increasingly incredulous to believe that the Master of Kung Fu somehow bests the super-strong rocky human mutate for a staggering fourteen panels until “Skinny” realises “you are not the enemy I thought you to be.”

Fortunately the second half of this seventeen-page periodical provides far more entertainment once the heroes discover the hidden entrance to Hydra’s experimental laboratory beneath “a small, almost disused restaurant catering the most uninspired Italian food one can imagine” located on the Victoria Embankment, and the two protagonists find themselves waist-deep in armed green-garbed goons; “You are our prisoners, fools. Prisoners of immortal Hydra!” In fact a good deal of Wolfman’s former poor scripting can quite easily be forgiven as he depicts Shang Chi at the height of his martial art powers, karate-chopping the “costumed ones… [with] no inner strength” all over the place and ensuring Doctor Kort’s retreat courtesy of “the sting of my nunchaka!”

Disconcertingly however artist Ron Wilson also seems to take the best part of this publication to warm to the son of Fu Manchu. There’s little doubt that the American illustrator can draw an incredibly expressive Thing, as his wonderful pencilling of a thoughtful-faced Grimm feeding the tame pigeons at Trafalgar Square ably demonstrates. But when it comes to the facial expressions of the wushu-styled warrior, his work for the most part appears flat, awkwardly angular and inauspiciously amateurish.

Writer/Editor: Marv Wolfman, Pencils: Ron Wilson, and Inks: Sam Grainger

Marvel Two-In-One #1 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 1, January 1974

It seems quite evident that Steve Gerber clearly had little concern as to just how contrived he needed to make the narrative for this first issue of “Marvel Two-In-One” in order to pair Benjamin Grimm and the Man-Thing up together. Why else would the Will Eisner Comic Book Hall of Famer have penned the Thing enduring “a day-an’-a half ride ta the Everglades” on a bus simply because “that swamp-rat” purportedly committed “plagiarism” by having a magazine ‘rip off his name” and steal his “moniker”? Indeed the founding member of the Fantastic Four’s oversensitivity to the Florida swamp creature “trying ta hog my glory” is ludicrous in the extreme and certainly doesn’t do justice to a Jack Kirby co-creation as famous for his selfless ‘heart of gold’ attitude as he is his orange rocky hide.

Equally as bizarre however has to be the Missouri-born writer’s creation of a second Molecule Man, who having vowed revenge upon Reed Richards' super-team for causing his father’s ignoble death on “a nameless world in a cosmos other than our own”, purposely exposes himself to “a shower of atomic particles” in order to be transformed into “the Monarch of the Universe!” Worryingly under-dressed in just an ornate thong, and armed with a metal wand capable of reversing an accelerated aging process that would actually see the villain “reduced to ashes” within seconds, Owen Reece’s bald-headed ‘successor’ proves a remarkably underwhelming foe for “the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed” Grimm and Ted Sallis’ alter-ego; especially when the manipulator of molecules is depicted impotently tapping his supposedly malfunctioning wand simply because “it won’t teleport me past the edge of this swamp.”

Gerber’s script for “Vengeance Of The Molecule Man!” does however still contain some noteworthy moments, such as its early nod to the lead character’s previous ‘team-ups’ alongside the Hulk and Iron Man in the final two issues of “Marvel Feature”, as well as a rare opportunity to see “the chemist who had been the Man-Thing” in action. In fact even “Flash-face” is eventually imbued with some chillingly cold-blooded gravitas as he quite horribly transforms a hapless resident of Citrusville into a duplicate of Mister Fantastic and promptly then stretches the screaming individual until his elastic body grotesquely snaps…

Arguably just as inconsistent as the storyline is Gil Kane’s disappointing artwork. It’s evident that the Shazam Award-winner was clearly capable of pencilling an impressively thick-set powerful-looking “orange-skinned buffoon”. But the American artist’s drawings of Molecule Man, Grimm and Sallis are actually all disconcertingly similar in appearance and, with the exception of the Yancy Streeter, seem astoundingly sinewy.

Writer: Steve Gerber, Penciller: Gil Kane, and Inker: Joe Sinnott

Future Imperfect #5 - Marvel Comics

FUTURE IMPERFECT No. 5, November 2015

It is relatively easy to see why according to “Diamond Comic Distributors” this fifth and final issue of Peter David’s “Secret Wars” tie-in didn’t manage to make the Top Fifty selling titles of September 2015, and actually saw itself being significantly outsold by the likes of “Invader Zim” by independent publisher “Oni Press”. For whilst this twenty-page periodical’s narrative does (eventually) focus upon a titanic confrontation between the “version of the Hulk from a distant future who has become corrupted by power” and Battleworld’s God Emperor, its eventual conclusion doubtless had the vast majority of the book’s 32,926 strong audience feeling the American author’s plot had disappointingly badly cheated them.

Indeed it is hard to fathom just precisely what the Huxtur Award-winner must have been thinking when he decided to pen an elderly chair-bound Rick Jones as “the ‘Ancient One’ guarding the Destroyer” and have the Maestro easily defeat Victor von Doom courtesy of the additional energy George Perez’s co-creation attained by donning the enchanted armour. Presumably the Maryland-born writer later felt likewise, as having had Dystopia’s Baron obliterate his opponent with “a rather powerful disintegration beam” in order to become “the new ruler of the world” and “god”, the magazine’s final few panels dwell upon the fact the entire battle had actually been nothing more than an illusion and that a suddenly human-sized Bruce Banner will now simply stand before the Asgardian super-weapon “until he dies.”

Admittedly David’s ‘punch-up’ between two of the Marvel Universe’s greatest villains genuinely provides some memorable moments as the two megalomaniacs exchange a series of breathtakingly punishing blows. But whilst this brawl is as impressively paced as cheering on Doctor Doom is disconcerting, there is a palpable sense of betrayal when the comic reveals the events to all be nothing more than a grand deception; “He wished to defeat Doom. It gave him that wish.”

Mercifully however, Greg Land’s awesome artwork does make good on his cover illustration’s promise that the Maestro’s highly anticipated conflict with his “true overlord” will be sensationally drawn. In fact it is hard to find fault with any of the “Uncanny X-Men” penciller’s drawings within this comic book, especially once battle commences and both combatants set upon one another with all the fury which they can muster.

Writer: Peter David, Artist: Greg Land, and Inker Jay Leisten 

Future Imperfect #4 - Marvel Comics

FUTURE IMPERFECT No. 4, October 2015

Although Peter David’s rather simplistic storyline of the Maestro “wandering around… Norseheim” in order to discover the secret location of the Destroyer may not be award-winning material, and doubtless contributed to this particular edition of the “Secret Wars” tie-in title regrettably selling some three thousand less copies than its predecessor, Issue Four of “Future Imperfect” does contain enough bone-crunching punches to sate even the most blood thirsty of its 35,661 readers. In fact from the moment the blind Hoder directs the green-skinned Baron’s party into “the residence of Ulik” little else actually takes place within the narrative but fighting as the alternate future Hulk, Ruby Summers, Dystopia’s incarnation of the Thing and Layla Miller become embroiled in a true toe-to-toe slugfest with the troll who has “the strength of a Thor” and his numerous savage-looking minions.

Happily however, this non-stop action is interspersed with the Maryland-born writer’s inclusion of some rather humorous sarcastic interplay between the Maestro and his ‘friend’ Major Thaddeus Ross, and then later by Bruce Banner’s malevolent alter-ego and an increasingly battered Asgardian powerhouse. Such entertainingly pithy dialogue really is one of this twenty-page periodical’s highlights, and even additionally demonstrates just how dangerously unpleasant, disliked and determined the orange mutate’s long-time foe really is; “…If Ulik has you on the brink of death, I’m just gonna stand there and applaud.”

Far less successful is the Wizard Fan Award-winner’s attempt to craft the constant worrisome doubts of ‘companion’ Skooter into anything more than an increasingly annoying bore. The Rebel’s brutal death at the hands of one of Ulik’s “flarking creep[s]” later in the story actually appears to be a bibliophile’s blessing as opposed to the viciously abrupt murder of a beloved member of this title’s supporting cast and it’s arguably doubtful that few wouldn’t have actually cheered Ruby if she had ‘blown his head off’ earlier in the book when the Dystopian’s incessant whining, and suggestion that perhaps they no longer follow the orders of Ross, causes her to finally lose patience with his infuriating mutterings.

David’s script does though seemingly play to all of artist Greg Land’s strengths, with the penciller’s wonderfully dynamic energy-charged panels depicting the Maestro and Ulik literally punching one another for all their worth proving to be tremendously well-drawn. Indeed despite the lack of actual plot progression taking place during the lengthy sequence, the super-strong troll’s inevitable defeat at the Baron’s hands genuinely comes to fruition all too soon…

Writer: Peter David, Artist: Greg Land, and Inker Jay Leisten 

Future Imperfect #3 - Marvel Comics

FUTURE IMPERFECT No. 3, September 2015

Despite this twenty-page periodical containing both some palpable tension as Ruby Summers leads a “band of rebels” into Baron Maestro’s stronghold on a desperate rescue mission, as well as plenty of action when the heroes’ subsequent stealthy shenanigans go somewhat awry, Issue Three of “Future Imperfect” arguably proves to be a rather unremarkable reading experience. Indeed for some indescribable reason Peter David’s narrative somehow feels as if the Maryland-born writer was simply going through the motions and essentially ‘padded out’ the comic until its ‘climatic’ conclusion when the Thing’s allies joins forces with the despot of Dystopia in order “to defeat [the God Emperor] Doom and take his place.”; “Do I look like I’m joking?”

Quite possibly much of this sense of dissatisfaction stems from the fact that the vast majority of the Wizard Fan Award-winner’s storyline focus’ upon the exploits of Janis Jones, Layla Miller, and Skooter; three rather forgettable ‘C-list’ characters who seem to spend a disagreeable amount of time arguing with one another as to whether their assault on “Baron Maestro’s Keep” is a good idea or not. Only the resistance fighter Ruby manages to hold any lasting interest and that is probably due to the quartz-skinned adventurer’s earnestness in finding Major Thaddeus Ross. Something which many of this book’s 38,269 followers presumably echoed, hoping that the appearance of “the leader of the anti-Maestro revolt” might actually inject this “Secret Wars” tie-in title with some much needed pizzazz.

Just as disappointing is the lack of ‘screen time’ enjoyed by this comic’s principal villain, Robert Bruce Banner. A formidable force to be reckoned with and undoubtedly this magazine’s biggest draw, the enthralling presence of the Castle of Green’s “lord and master” is much missed during this particular publication. Though admittedly David’s decision to have the bearded maniac replaced by the baron’s impotent Gravity Police makes perfect sense from a plot perspective. For Summers and her friends understandably required an opponent which their powers could best if the American author’s tale was going to proceed much further…

Equally as lack-lustre as the writing is Greg Land’s competent yet unremarkable pencilling. “Best known for his work on books such as Uncanny X-Men, Birds Of Prey and Fantastic Four”, the artist’s rather bold style gives his panels a rather cartoony-feel which can prove somewhat distracting during the book’s more action-packed sequences. Indeed it isn’t until the Thing’s companions stumble upon the Maestro and Thaddeus’ “repast” that the illustrator seemingly finally starts to provide his figures with a little more detail, especially around their faces.

The variant cover art of "FUTURE IMPERFECT" No. 3 by Mike Deodato

Future Imperfect #2 - Marvel Comics

FUTURE IMPERFECT No. 2, September 2015

Despite the end result usually favouring the green-skinned gamma giant, fans of both the Incredible Hulk and The Thing have continually clamoured for the pair to ‘slug it out’ with one another ever since their classic 1963 punch-up within the pages of Issue Twelve of “Fantastic Four”. This particular “Secret Wars” confrontation however comes with something of a twist as writer Peter David not only reimagines Bruce Banner’s alter-ego as the murderously-maniacal Maestro for the ten-page bout of pugilism. But also alters the persona of the orange rock-covered human mutate from that of Ben Grimm into Major Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross; an Air Force orbital pilot who was transformed by cosmic rays during a test flight.

Such a disconcerting “Marvel Worldwide” modification doubtless may well have upset the ‘purist’ element of this title’s 47,944 strong audience. Yet it also rather cleverly creates a considerable amount of uncertainty in the narrative’s proceedings, especially when the Thing catches the tyrant off-guard with a formidable left swing and drop kicks the malevolent ruler into a nearby multi-rise building. Sadly however the Wizard Fan award-winner’s storyline does not permit such ambiguity for too long and the “Lord Baron Maestro” soon seemingly effortlessly batters “the leader of the anti-Maestro revolt” into unconsciousness; “Get a cart. Strap him in and bring him back to the castle.”

Equally as enthralling a read as this comic’s "monster smash" is the American author’s wonderfully scripted flashback sequence depicting Glen Talbot and Major Ross’ tragically flawed attempt to beat “the Russkies to space… before the Air Force”. David’s five-panel long conversation between the two tense pilots is delightfully prickly, with the senior officer even reminding his subordinate that they “aren’t on a first name basis” and really helps reinforce the hard-nosed determination to do his duty which Thaddeus’ character is famous for.

Greg Land’s pencilling is also rather pleasing to the eye, even if his design of the Maestro’s emerald-armoured rifle-carrying “cavalry” aren’t terribly impressive-looking and seem far more suited to an appearance in one of L. Frank Baum’s “Wizard Of Oz” novels than a supposedly serious comic book story of human suffering and oppression.

The variant cover art of "FUTURE IMPERFECT" No. 2 by Rafa Garres

Marvel Two-In-One #43 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 43, September 1978

In many ways “The Day The World Winds Down” is a fairly typical example of storytelling “in the mighty Marvel manner” of the Late Seventies. For not only does this seventeen-page periodical start with a lengthy montage as to the origin of the issue’s super-villain, Victorius, “a humble researcher toiling to recreate the Super-soldier serum that made… Captain America”. But its narrative then predominantly consists of little more than the title’s main protagonists battling it out with their opponents, before the adventure is actually resolved more through the use of the heroes’ brains than brawn.

Indeed in something of a role reversal it is actually Captain America who somewhat bizarrely reverts to simply duking it out with the “reborn” Victor Conrad. Whilst it’s left to Ben Grimm, now ‘just’ a normal being once again, that gets to reason with Jude, the Entropic Man and convince him that the arguably benign monster’s “coming was ill-timed” as Mankind doesn’t want to give up its existence yet; “I know life ain’t a picnic -- But it’s still the best game in town!” 

Despite following this well-tested formula for ‘success’ however, Ralph Macchio’s writing is disappointingly still even more contrived than usual for a “Marvel Comics” publication of this era and it genuinely feels that the New Yorker’s storyline was purely manufactured simply to have Steve Rogers engage in a fist-fight with a second-rate replica of himself. Why else, having seized control of the Cosmic Cube and already used its formidable power to “reform the remains of Yagzan” back from the dead, would Victorius then leave the device unattended, disrobe down to his ‘combat costume’ and tackle the Golden Age legend single-handedly?

Captain America also behaves entirely out of character throughout this issue, first clumsily silencing the Thing because he supposedly wants to hear the former AIM scientist’s backstory, and then later setting aside his shield due to “the First Avenger” apparently believing that “It’s time for a little lesson in unarmed combat techniques” to be given to one who wields the Cosmic Cube. Even the inclusion of the Man-Thing would appear to have been an afterthought, with the “empathic, humanoid creature” simply doing nothing within the adventure than shamble up to where Conrad left AIM’s miraculous invention and touch it. Hardly action enough to warrant top billing upon the cover of “Marvel Two-In-One”…

Fortunately such weaknesses to this tale of “Death in the Everglades” are easily forgotten courtesy of some early artwork by the Eagle Award-winning John Byrne. The British-born American illustrator’s pencilling of “Wing-Head” whilst he punches and kicks Victorius throughout the swamp is as dynamically drawn as any bibliophile could want. Though dishearteningly it would appear that printing deadlines got the better of the Englishman as some of the panels suggest a ‘friendly’ hand helped out on the final finished product.

Writer: Ralph Macchio, Artists: John Byrne and Friends, and Colorist: Phil Rachelson

Future Imperfect #1 - Marvel Comics

FUTURE IMPERFECT No. 1, August 2015

Despite being in some ways an unashamed “reimagining” of his early Nineties mini-series “Incredible Hulk: Future Imperfect”, and quite possibly containing one of the more laborious opening narratives of the entire “Secret Wars” 2015 comic book event. This first instalment of Peter David’s “Battleworld” tie-in title is overall a rather enjoyable experience and arguably includes one of the most mouth-watering cliff-hangers “Marvel Worldwide” have published during the Modern Age of Comics, as the “malevolent and even mightier Hulk persona known as the Maestro” encounters the orange, rocky-skinned visage of human mutate powerhouse Benjamin Grimm.

Initially however the majority of the 62,110 readers who journeyed to this “tightly conducted” domain ruled by the bearded, green-skinned "exalted baron", were doubtless perturbed by the Maryland-born writer’s seven-page long opening excursion into the soulless barren wasteland surrounding Dystopia. Indeed this ponderously slow dialogue-heavy beginning, which sees Ruby Summers from “X-Factor” stumble upon the frail and dehydrated form of an old man who claims to be “Odin, the Ruler of Asgard”, proves as lack-lustre a preamble as the searingly hot, dry desert, perfectly drawn by Greg Land, genuinely parches the mouth. Indeed this storyline simply doesn’t 'get going' until half-way through the magazine, when the unsuspecting telepath Slider conducts a scan of the one-eyed Norse God as part of the rebel community’s “routine security” and uncovers that their emaciated visitor is actually none other than Robert Bruce Banner, “typically called the Maestro.”

The introduction of this “wonderfully twisted version” of the Hulk, “with all of his strengths and none of his weaknesses” truly reinvigorates David’s unappealing prose and within the space of a couple of panels brings some much needed energy and urgency to the proceedings. In fact one can almost hear the terrified panic in Janis’ voice as the leader immediately calls out for her compatriots to “Fall back! Everybody fall back!” before the imminent onslaught of the mad century-old despot. Fortunately the daughter of Emma Frost from the “alternate future Earth-1191” isn’t yet ready to retreat from the super-strong “master tactician” and instead provides the Maestro  with “two, perhaps three seconds of concern”, as well as this book’s bibliophiles some momentary action-packed pleasure, before her ruby quartz body starts to shatter in the grip of the behemoth.

Writer: Peter David, Artist: Greg Land, and Colorist: Nolan Woodard

Marvel Two-In-One #42 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 42, August 1978

Whilst the narrative to Issue Forty-Two of “Marvel Two-In-One” may not contain the most complicated of scenarios imaginable, comprising basically of a power-hungry scientist stealing the Cosmic Cube from the “New” Department of Energy’s Project Pegasus. It does still clearly demonstrate just how much writer Ralph Macchio loved comics. For whilst parts of the storyline are incomprehensible contrived nonsense, such as Victor Conrad somehow managing to infiltrate a “Top-Secret” facility or his magically ‘winking out’ “some thousand miles” back to the Everglades before his imminent capture, other parts, like The Thing’s action-packed fist-fight with Captain America and the touching, rather heart-rendering tenderness between “Unca Benjy” and the child-like powerhouse Wundarr, make “Entropy, Entropy” an enthralling read.

Much of this seventeen-page periodical’s appeal comes as a result of the New Yorker’s endearing characterisation of the orange-skinned “ex-test pilot”. Admittedly the American “Letterhack” begins this comic depicting the founding member of the Fantastic Four demonstrating his usual ‘punch first think later’ mentality by having the “Ever-Lovin’ Blue-eyed Thing” batter down a “six-inch titanium steel” door before trying to wallop “Wing-head” within an inch of his life. But just as soon as the misunderstanding is rectified and “Angel-ears” releases the Human mutate from “some kinda blasted force field”, Macchio takes great care in portraying Ben as an extremely compassionate, intelligent being, whose horror at the “high-handed” mistreatment of his one-time ward, is as upsetting to the reader as it is to “Wundarr’s guardian”; “C’mere kid. I know yer hurtin’ inside. Just lemme holdja a second - - It’ll go away.”

The former Executive Editor of “Marvel Comics” also manages to give “the ultimate answer to Nazi aggression” plenty of ‘screen time’ too, despite the arguable brevity of this comic. Indeed “the Super-Solider Supreme” is at his dynamic best within this book, both outfighting and outthinking an enraged Thing before tackling the sadistically evil saboteur Victorius and telling governmental workers to “stow it” when they attempt to hamper “Mister Grimm” from swiftly pursuing Wundarr’s assailant in a “silvery VTOL.”

Just as engaging as the storyline is this magazine’s illustrations, with artists Sal Buscema, Alfredo Alcala and Samuel Grainger all combining together to create some wonderfully animated panels; foremost of which has to be the double-splash of a heroic-looking “Flag-face", shield-arm outstretched, leaping towards an enraged Ben Grimm. In fact for such a sedentary story, with much of the publication’s plot simply involving the chair-bound “still quivering ever so slightly… man-child from the stars” being experimented upon, the artwork genuinely imbues Macchio’s writing with a real sense of action and tension.

Writer: Ralph Macchio, and Artists: Sal Buscema, Alfredo Alcala and Samuel Grainger

Marvel Two-In-One #5 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 5, September 1974

Despite Benjamin Grimm’s ‘team-up’ with the (original) Guardians of the Galaxy not actually taking place until two-thirds of the way through this Bronze Age comic’s narrative, Issue Five of “Marvel Two-In-One” is still absolutely packed full of wonderfully ‘over the top’ fist-fights and corny Seventies dialogue as The Thing, Captain America and “the woman he loves” Agent 13, face a seemingly endless supply of Steve Gerber’s wickedly unimaginatively named Zoms and “Earth’s new masters: The reptilian conquerors called the Brotherhood of Badoon”.

Indeed in many ways it is actually somewhat frustrating that Major Vance Astro, Charlie-27, Yondu and Martinex make an appearance in this story at all, as their ‘timely’ arrival upon an alien-infested world, also sadly ushers in a bizarrely abrupt climax to what was up until the superheroes’ brief attack against Lord Drang’s palace, a genuinely enjoyable read. Just why the Eagle Award-winner would try and encapsulate a citywide ‘revolution’ against the planet’s extraterrestrial masters within the space of just two pages is unclear. But having spent a considerable portion of the periodical depicting the “heroes of old Earth” clobberin’ the likes of Commander Ogg and his ray-rifle carrying lizardmen, it seems dissatisfyingly odd that the creator of “Howard the Duck” would then shoehorn in both the defeat of the metropolis’ green scaly “lordsire” and the departure of “three weary chrononauts” back “into the past” within the space of six small panels.

Mild disappointment at this book’s brevity aside however, Gerber’s writing proves to be remarkably entertaining, and even includes a somewhat inventive ‘recap’ for any new readers by having Captain America explain the events which lead up to “Seven Against The Empire!” via a memory probe’s vocal stimulator. The Missouri-born writer even manages to conjure up a remarkable rematch between “the orange-skinned one” and the “Monster of Badoon” by having Grimm triumphantly batter “ugly” senseless with the help of the “last survivor of Earth’s Jupiter colony.”

Sal Buscema’s artwork is equally as solid, and whilst the New Yorker predominantly relies upon the standard six-panelled sheet for the majority of his illustrations, that doesn’t stop him drawing some genuinely memorable moments, most notably that of Ben hurling a futuristic car into a horde of Zoms and Badoon, and the single splash of the planet’s resistance movement storming Drang’s fortified stronghold.

Writer: Steve Gerber, Artist: Sal Buscema and Inker: Mike Esposito

Marvel Two-In-One #4 - Marvel Comics

MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE No. 4, July 1974

Sporting an incredibly dynamic and pulse-pounding cover of The Thing and ‘Sentinel of Liberty’ battling a horde of futuristic Zoms by Gil Kane and Joe Sinnott, “Doomsday 3014!” is sadly not “the most titanic team-up ever… in this, the Marvel Age of comics!” But Steve Gerber’s eighteen-page long narrative isn’t an especially bad one either. It’s simply a storyline which comes in two parts and disappointingly the first half is a rather lack-lustre low-brow affair as a particularly grim-faced “Unca Ben-Jee” takes the child-like super-powered Wundarr for an ill-conceived stroll through “Central Park Zoo on a sunny day in New York.”

Admittedly this sojourn into the domestic life of Benjamin Grimm provides plenty of humour and surreal comic book moments, such as the long-haired refugee from Dakkam innocently trying to show an escaped Lion his pretty pink balloon, or The Thing’s rocky hide being harmlessly “gnawed on” by the self-same king of the jungle. However there is little sense of peril to any of these shenanigans and even Captain America is inauspiciously utilised to accomplish nothing more than deal with a handful of “Hoods--taking advantage of the confusion… Looting the deserted concession stands!”

Fortunately the Eagle Award-winner’s writing significantly picks up pace once the mysterious Tarin is inadvertently transported back to ‘our time’ thanks to Ben accidentally activating Dr.Doom’s Time Machine; “Captured after F.F. #5 – Guess Who!” Such clunky lazy story-telling is undeniably a somewhat unsatisfactory way for Gerber to introduce a personality who would go on to become ‘President of Earth’ in the Nineties “Guardians Of The Galaxy” series. Yet the human mutate’s innocuous ‘bump’ into Victor’s time-travelling device does at least set up the motivation behind why the founding member of the Fantastic Four would accompany the “frail girl in a flashy future-suit” back to her time and “lend them Guardians a hand!”

In fact the subsequent four pages of almost non-stop action are the highlight of the magazine, and genuinely live up to the high expectations set by Kane’s aforementioned cover illustration. Possibly the red-suited blank-eyed Zoms aren’t the most impressive of villainous minions ever created by “Marvel Comics Group” during the Bronze Age of Comics, especially with their delicate looking horned headbands. But the quite ludicrously named “Monster of Badoon” proves a suitably impressive adversary for the ‘ever lovin’ blue-eyed Thing’, even if the green-skinned three-fingered behemoth does look as bad as its name sounds.

In addition this comic contains some wonderfully characterful artwork by Silvio “Sal” Buscema, an artist who is clearly capable of bestowing upon Ben Grimm’s typically stony unreadable face all manner of emotions. Indeed the inkwell Award-winner’s drawings of The Thing sending the Zoms flying with a swipe of a broken lamp-post or the super-strong hero’s battle with a giant gorilla are as energetic and ‘full of life’ as you could want a penciller to sketch.

Writer: Steve Gerber, Artist: Sal Buscema and Inker: Frank Giacoia