DC Vs. Vampires #7 - DC Comics

DC VS. VAMPIRES No. 7, September 2022

Quite considerably ramping up the scale of the vampires’ invasion of Earth to a truly global level, this beginning to the mini-series’ “nightmarish second arc” certainly seems to do a cracking job in depicting just how horrifically all-powerful the blood drinkers’ empire has become since the treacherous murder of the Dark Knight. Indeed, the opening double splash-page to Issue Seven of “DC Vs. Vampires” provides a picture of the terrifying fate awaiting any remaining pockets of humanity which speaks more than a thousand eloquently chosen words. 

Enjoyably however, this sense of grandeur doesn’t deter James Tynion IV and Matthew Rosenberg from still focusing upon the individual inhabitants of their deadly alternative world, and making their audience suddenly care for the likes of Adam Strange, Negative Man and Peacemaker. These ‘B-Listers’ have clearly taken up the fight in the name of mankind, and almost immediately capture the sympathetic support of the reader as they desperately attempt to escort an emaciated Kara to a safe haven whilst all the time fending off the ghoulish incarnations of some of the DC Universe’s heaviest hitters; “Yes. I have always thought you were the most boring member of the Justice League.” 

Furthermore, the shocking and systematic demise of Mister Bones’ band of brave do-gooders to an utterly arrogant Wonder Woman is not only as debatably chilling as comic book violence can possibly get, but also helps quickly establish the deadly, ruthless nature of those heroes infected by vampirism. Establishing such a despicable malevolence really is crucial to this publication’s final third, when it becomes evident that even the highly experienced Green Arrow has been significantly shaken to his core by the sights he has seen and is resultantly angrily at odds with some of his fellow super-heroes when they suggest “travelling halfway around the world, cross the ocean” to Australia to clear the ash clouds dominating the sky.

Adding an incredible amount of realistic fatigue to this comic’s considerably sized cast are Otto Schmidt’s pencils, which really do help promote the utter exhaustion felt by the few mortal survivors of the new Vampire King’s reign. Likewise, the Siberian illustrator does a stellar job in portraying this book’s more action-orientated moments and brings a genuine pathos to the plight of Robert Todd when the skull-headed protagonist sadly slips into lifelessness alongside Jayna after the Wonder Twin seemingly rescued him from an overconfident Firestorm.

The regular cover art of "DC VS. VAMPIRES" #7 by Guillem March

Plastic Man #1 - DC Comics

PLASTIC MAN No. 1, August 2018

Although Gail Simone’s desire to return “the first funny super hero” back to his roots within the Golden Age of Comic Books is both a laudable aim and something presumably many long-time fans of “Quality Comics” old “signature character” would want to see, it is hard to reconcile Jack Cole’s Early Forties creation with this “Teen Plus” rated publication’s creepy petty thug “who runs a strip club.” In fact, the Oregon-born writer’s insistence that Patrick “Eel” O’Brian persistently utters the term “Wang” throughout this adventure, and then later immodestly flexes his naked body in front of an embarrassed “mystery lady” whilst in his bedroom, disconcertingly provides this twenty-page periodical with just the sort of all-pervading sexual undertone that caused the Comics Magazine Association of America to form the Comics Code Authority (CCA) in 1954; “Is wang good or bad? Does it still mean penis?”

Admittedly, comedy has undoubtedly moved on somewhat since those more ‘naïve’ days sixty odd years ago, and Issue One of “Plastic Man” certainly succeeds in its American author’s aim to portray “the original humour hero jock” as being “a little bit bawdy, a little bit messed up.” But there’s debatably little fun to be had reading about Sammy “Suitcase” Mizzola threatening to physically assault his gun moll, Janet, when the lady complains he was supposed to be taking her dancing rather bludgeoning a man half-to-death with a baseball bat down some side-street alleyway, or the one-time star of a kids Saturday morning cartoon show talking about leaving “some rubbers at your Mom’s house. On the nightstand” because a gangster’s sister is in town…

Dishearteningly, the True Believers Comic Award-winner’s “pretty thin” narrative doesn’t make an awful lot of sense either, on account of the con artist supposedly not being able to remember who killed a security guard at the heist which accidentally bestowed upon him his superhuman elasticity. Just why, having been left for dead by his criminal ‘friends’ when they threw him out of their speeding getaway car, the malleable thief is subsequently brutalised by them for surviving the ordeal is never explained, nor is Plastic Man’s belief that he shot the hapless sentry when the book’s panel depicting O’Brian’s memory of the scene clearly shows the bald-headed Benny Turlin murdering the man..?

Mercifully however, this magazine is blessed with some gratifyingly witty artwork by Adriana Melo, who genuinely imbues the titular character with all the weirdly wonderful 'disguises' and sizes one has come to expect from a shape-shifting super-hero. Whether it be a giant bouncing ball, zany Wonder Woman lookalike, H.G. Wells’ tripod machine or gas-guzzling convertible, it is easy to see why Simone has previously stated that the Brazilian penciller “draws the most gorgeous people.”

The regular cover art of "PLASTIC MAN" No. 1 by Aaron Lopresti

The Brave And The Bold #148 - DC Comics

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD No. 148, March 1979

As a “DC Comics” Christmas tie-in publication, Bob Haney’s narrative for Issue One Hundred and Forty Eight of “The Brave And The Bold” was arguably always going to contain a certain amount of festive joviality and silliness. In fact, considering that Batman is partnered with the quirky, comical character of Plastic Man, many of this seventeen-page periodical’s buyers probably felt an “offbeat” tongue-in-cheek tale was effectively guaranteed.

Sadly however “The Night The Mob Stole Xmas!” actually seems to take this notion of “surreal slapstick humour” a little too far, and not only milks Jack Cole’s creation for all the funnies the malleable superhero can muster, but does so within an atrociously contrived storyline that is as implausibly manufactured as it is unamusing. It’s certainly hard to imagine that despite all his wealth and power the Crime Lord Big Jake still found it necessary to steal “Gotham’s Great Xmas Display” and transport it to his residence “at Conch Key -- A palm-studded coral island off the Florida Coast”, rather than simply build an alternative to “the famous Lacy’s Department Store” yuletide exhibition; unless of course he purposely wanted to attract the attention of that particular metropolis’ Dark Knight and ruin his well-prepared plans for murdering “all the creeps who tried to muscle in on our butt-smuggling” operation.   

Equally as illogical is the Philadelphia-born writer’s handling of the Caped Crusader himself. Clearly aware of Commissioner Gordon’s deep concern regarding a spate of hijackings and murders related to illegal cigarettes, Batman nonsensically decides to initially ignore the Policeman’s request for him to ‘crack the smuggling ring’ and instead needle him by explaining he has to “do my Xmas shopping”. To make matters worse, Haney also has Bruce Wayne’s alter ego later impotently surrender to two armed gangsters, and subsequently be stretched out across a gigantic evergreen conifer “as a tree decoration”, despite the fact that Plastic Man is right beside him and could presumably readily dispatch the goons with a couple of elongated fists?

Fortunately what this comic lacks in credibility, it more than makes up for with its wonderfully dynamic-looking artwork, courtesy of Joe Staton and Jim Aparo. Imbued with a genuine feeling of energetic athleticism, whether it be him landing flat-footed on top of a van roof, karate-chopping a goon with throat strike, or swinging into his open-topped Batmobile, the creative team’s rendering of the Caped Crusader, as well as Plastic Man, is top notch throughout.

Writer: Bob Haney, and Artists: Joe Staton & Jim Aparo