Creepshow: Joe Hill's Wolverton Station #1 - Image Comics

CREEPSHOW: JOE HILL'S WOLVERTON STATION No. 1, February 2024

For those “kiddies” somehow able to navigate their way through twenty-four pages of abhorrent, expletive-laden dialogue, this comic book adaption/expansion of Joe Hill’s 2014 E-book set “in a dog-eat-dog world” probably never lived up to its pre-publication hype. True, the New York Times bestselling author’s narrative most definitely contains plenty of gratuitous violence and body horror thanks to a pack of hungry werewolves chomping their way through a number of hapless commuters and leaving their dinner scraps all over the place. But besides these momentary gore-fests, this “special presentation” overall is arguably far from convincing; “Americans don’t smell like cheeseburgers. We smell like winners.”

To begin with the sole reason for crooked businessman Saunders to even climb aboard a terrifying train to Wolverton Station is because there’s apparently no limousine drivers available in England to drive him to Buckinghamshire. This rather implausible national strike will surely test the audience’s willing suspension of disbelief straight from the start, and seems to have been crowbarred into the plot solely to ensure that the rich entrepreneur “obsessed with classic Horror memorabilia” uses a particular form of public transport.

Furthermore, the lead character appears unaware that the majority of passengers around him are actually hulking great werewolves, even when they’re ferociously feasting upon the innards of their partially disembowelled victims, or noisily chasing him through the carriages towards First Class. Such a lack of recognition really is quite bemusing, and appears especially strange once the fellow becomes both noticeably sickened and petrified by the numerous mass-murders occurring throughout his train ride. In fact, even after a close call with three ravenous lycanthropes near the toilet, the American still just returns to his seat beside a well-dressed man-wolf and continues with their earlier conversation.

Much more impressive is arguably Michael Walsh’s artwork, with the illustrator’s somewhat roughly-hewn sketches adding plenty of raw energy to the skin-shredding shenanigans occurring aboard the blood-soaked InterCity. Of particular note is how the penciller depicts Saunders becoming increasingly dishevelled physically as his nerve-jangling trip plays out, and he resultantly transforms from the arrogant, all-powerful tycoon into nothing more than a truly desperate taxi-fare who has unwittingly fallen into Sol’s grisly plan for revenge…

The regular cover art of "CREEPSHOW: JOE HILL'S WOLVERTON STATION" #1 by Michael Walsh

Blade #8 - Marvel Comics

BLADE No. 8, April 2024

Considering that this comic’s basic premise concerns the titular character journeying down into Hell so as to recruit an army of the Damned, Bryan Hill’s unsatisfyingly sedentary script for Issue Eight of “Blade” doubtless frustrated the vast majority of its action-anticipating audience. Indeed, despite Eric Brooks encountering the giant, one-eyed undead guardian known as Abrath the Collector, the Dhampir never even swings his famous sword in anger; “Something in the living world is upsetting the balance.”

To make matters worse though, none of the American author’s storyline arguably makes much sense whatsoever anyway, as it’s never made clear just why the Day-walker thought he’d have any leverage against the demonic deity he faces. Sure, the half-vampire might have a valid point that Adana might “replace this Hell with her own.” But that argument hardly seems persuasive enough to win him the legion of unholy warriors he urgently needs to send against an all-powerful foe who has already previously demonstrated her ability to massacre multiple supernaturally-enhanced opponents single-handedly.

Furthermore, Blade’s trip to the outskirts of the Circle of Desolation and back again appears remarkably easy to achieve, thanks to Satana Hellstrom simply performing “just a bit of magic.” So basic a ritual genuinely saps any excitement straight out of the narrative, and makes it appear that there is absolutely no cost or risk to the dangers both Brooks and the succubus are facing. In addition, it makes Rotha’s requirement to quietly sit alongside them in order for the young cultist-turned-assassin to tenuously tie Eric’s soul to the mortal realm a bit of a mockery, and appears to have just been crowbarred into the plot for the poor girl to shockingly see her dead father’s ghost appear at the book’s conclusion.

Sadly, Elena Casagrande’s artwork debatably doesn’t do much for this publication either, with the artist’s rather static-looking style failing to inject many a panel with any actual dynamism - even when the likes of Draven are momentarily tussling with Abrath. Such listless pencilling was debatably never going to succeed with so dynamic an anti-hero as Marv Wolfman’s co-creation. However, due to a fair bulk of this book lamentably relying upon various splash-pages to pad it out, the Italian illustrator’s layouts probably land even more disastrously.

The regular cover art to "BLADE" #8 by Elena Casagrande & K.J. Diaz

Creepshow: Holiday Special 2023 #1 - Image Comics

CREEPSHOW: HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2023 No. 1, December 2023

Most definitely succeeding in its mission “to put the fear in your cheer”, Daniel Kraus’ storyline for “Christmas Man” easily establishes a truly disconcerting foe to murderously stalk Santa Claus during the snow-laden season of giving. Indeed, considering the perfectly plausible background this terrifying tale’s supporting cast make up as to the motivation behind “the Abominable Snowman of the North Pole”, the toe-hungry monster genuinely sounds like something the American author has simply plucked from the mythical stories surrounding Saint Nicholas himself, rather than a foul fiend created specifically for this comic’s ten-page long plot.

In addition, artist Jonathan Wayshak needs a massive pat on the back for his engrossing pencils, which entertainingly incorporate the heavily-stylised sketches of little Esme to help illustrate the child’s traumatised thoughts as to what the fur-covered creature probably looks like in life as it remorselessly follows Father Christmas on foot. These scribblings genuinely help sell the increasing dread flowing through this fairy-tale's impressionable protagonist, and will also doubtless imbue the reader with all the confirmation they need that the child’s mean-spirited siblings have gotten their ‘just rewards’ once the heavily-fanged Yeti has mercilessly devoured all their feet before her very eyes.

Slightly less graphic in its telling, though still containing plenty of removed human body parts, is “Package Thieves” by James Asmus. This “cautionary tale about stealing the wrong parcel” is arguably a little slow in places as Holly becomes increasingly paranoid during her day-to-day thievery, and starts to strongly doubt her life of crime is as victimless as her overbearing partner, Joy, repeatedly claims. But once it becomes clear the pair are specifically being targeted by a homicidal Spirit of Christmas, the pace quite noticeably 'hots up' into a stomach-churning conclusion.

Disappointingly however, “lively” Letizia Cadonici’s layouts probably don’t help with the speed of this predominantly sedentary yarn either, courtesy of the Italian’s somewhat minimalist style (along with Francesco Segala’s colours) making all the figures rather flat-looking and lifeless. Indeed, even the touching despair in the face of a poor father desperate to buy a robot dog back from the woman who stole it from his front-porch, disappointingly lacks a lot of its emotional impact – something which just such a scene should definitely evoke considering its made crystal clear he only wants the toy for his hapless, hospital-bound daughter.

The regular cover art of "CREEPSHOW: HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2023" #1 by Guillem March

Dune: House Harkonnen #12 - BOOM! Studios

DUNE: HOUSE HARKONNEN No. 12, January 2024

Considering that this twenty-two-page periodical is the last instalment to a multi-part mini-series supposedly focusing upon the “heavily industrialised” Great House centred upon Giedi Prime and its floating Baron, Vladimir Harkonnen is noticeably absent from the majority of its interior content. In fact, apart from a nineteen-panel piece depicting the corpulent framed ruler torturing his nephew for cold-bloodedly murdering Abulurd, Issue Twelve of “Dune: House Harkonnen” is arguably much more focused upon a grieving Duke Leto Atreides and the man's desperate gamble that Doctor Wellington Yueh can restore his badly-mutilated friend back from the brink of death using “Suk medical techniques.”

Admittedly, this somewhat slow and distinctly dialogue-driven depiction of Rhombur Vernius' fate does prove rather well-written, with the horribly injured Earl’s devoted wife Tessia receiving some marvellous moments in which her forceful love for her spouse can be brought to the forefront of the story; “All of him is here! All that matters. The rest can be… replaced.” Yet overall the pacing to this comic is painfully slow and oft-times sedentary at best, especially when Leto the Just decides to take the Lady Jessica on a pleasant picnic deep within the lush vegetation of Agamemnon Canyon, and illustrator Michael Shelfer tastefully pencils him spending a blissful afternoon in his concubine’s arms before returning to court for poor little Victor’s heartbreaking funeral.

Sadly, even the shocking demise of Pardot Kynes does little to add any lasting drama to this adaption’s narrative, due to the first Imperial Planetologist of Arrakis being poorly penned angrily arguing with his son beforehand for no discernible reason. And just why the aged agriculturist then decides to stop dead in the middle of a lethal rock-fall to contemplatively pick a handful of fruit whilst those around him are being bludgeoned to death by enormous boulders is arguably any bibliophile’s guess..?

To make matters worse, it’s made clear from the character’s last words that Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson would have their audience believe he was trying to save the bountiful crop from extinction. But surely the bearded visionary could simply have safely obtained new seeds from a wandering trader or well-stocked market elsewhere, and debatably only therefore dies just so the “award-winning novelists” had a reason for his guilt-ridden son, Liet-Kynes, to unconvincingly follow in his dead father’s footsteps by ‘secretly terraforming Arrakis into a temperate planet.’

The regular cover art of "DUNE: HOUSE HARKONNEN" #12 by Raymond Swanland

Daredevil: Black Armor #1 - Marvel Comics

DAREDEVIL: BLACK ARMOR No. 1, January 2024

Announced at the San Diego Comic-Con in July 2023, and set during D.G. Chichester’s “landmark run” with Daredevil, this first in a four-issue limited series arguably does a good job in both updating those readers who aren’t too familiar with the American author’s “fan-favourite era”, whilst simultaneously stimulating those bibliophiles who remember the Man Without Fear wearing his armoured costume with a previously never-before-seen adventure. Sure, it does take the Connecticut-born writer a good ten pages to recount the numerous changes made to Matt Murdock’s character during the Nineties. But that still leaves two thirds of this book with which the audience can be thrown into the “non-stop intense action and brutal fighting” of Jack Batlin’s mission to thwart a series of mysterious abductions across Hell’s Kitchen.

Furthermore, once the storytelling does finally get going it wastes little time in throwing the blind vigilante up against the formidable Sabretooth in a mouth-watering confrontation that arguably shows the mass-murdering mutant at his most terrifyingly savage, and wearing Jim Lee’s “instantly iconic costume” redesign to boot. This sadly short-lived skirmish proves an excellent hook to the upcoming shenanigans, particularly when it alludes to a master super-villain capable of stopping Victor Creed’s ferocious alter-ego dead in his tracks with a single command, and ordering him to “disengage” from a hero who has already humiliatingly battered the brute with his trademark batons.

Just as tensely penned is probably this publication’s almost obligatory exchange with Wilson Fisk, who is seen as a down and out Kingpin of crime scrambling around for a quality limousine in a disreputable garage. Seeming to not know the (new) incarnation of Daredevil isn’t the same blind lawyer he’d repeatedly locked horns with in the past, the dialogue between these two long-time foes is still top-notch, with the once “powerful crime lord” lacing his polite words with plenty of deadly menace and threat; “Time to earn some respect.”

Helping to add plenty of “Snappkt”, “Tnnk” and “Trrk” to the proceedings is the artistic team of Netho Diaz on pencils, J.P. Mayer with inks, and colorist Andrew Dalhouse, who together make Murdock’s “sleek new armoured costume” wholly believable. In addition, some of the splash-layouts showing Matt’s highly emotive struggle with his Catholicism and dedication to the law are incredibly well designed, and provide some wonderful insights into the titular character’s conflicting motivations.

Writer: D.G. Chichester, Penciler: Netho Diaz, Inker: J.P. Mayer, and Colorist: Andrew Dalhouse

Beware The Planet Of The Apes #2 - Marvel Comics

BEWARE THE PLANET OF THE APES No. 2, April 2024

Introducing both a new mutant human settlement which inhabits “the ruins of the old Yankee Stadium”, as well as an enormous gorilla-only civilisation in the Forbidden Zone, Marc Guggenheim’s narrative for Issue Two of “Beware The Planet Of The Apes” probably perplexed those readers who were eagerly anticipating the American author returning them to the science-fiction franchise’s earliest days. True, these “never-before-seen dangers” definitely provide the twenty-page periodical with plenty of mystery. But arguably many a bibliophile will still wonder just why scientists Cornelius and Zira, or even “their human guide Nova”, never mention such evident threats when they later encounter astronaut George Taylor in Franklin J. Schaffner’s 1968 original movie.

Indeed, whilst the Long Island-born television producer at least attempts to tie Mistress Ivana’s gun-toting tribe of telepathic survivors in with Mendez XXVI’s silver screen worshippers of the Alpha-Omega Bomb, plenty within this comic’s audience will probably still feel that the writer’s storyline contains some frustratingly self-indulgent elements of fan fiction; “With our mutation comes certain… psychic abilities. Mine are more attuned than others. Sometimes, with the right stimulus… I can see ahead of things.”

Perhaps the biggest of these inconsistencies lies with Cornelius actually being shot by the facially-disfigured Kennard because the trigger-happy sharpshooter thought “the ape was charging”. This injury immediately fells the hapless chimpanzee archaeologist, and leads to Zira witnessing another human carry out surgery on her beloved’s wounded shoulder – knowledge which the veterinarian would surely carry with her when it later comes to Doctor Galen operating on Taylor later at the Animal Hospital. Furthermore, the sheer size of the Hominidae Empire apparently dwarves that of Ape City, so just how is its formidable presence kept from the likes of Doctor Zaius and the Ministry of Science in the near future..?

Just as bemusing as this publication’s penmanship though are debatably the book’s layouts, which feature a mish-mash of “excerpts from Adventures On The Planet Of The Apes” sketched by the late Alfredo Alcala, and panels drawn by modern-day artist Alvaro Lopez. Perhaps understandably, the two illustrators’ styles contrast with one another quite dramatically. However, due to the dialogue-heavy nature of the script a lot of the current contributor’s side-on illustrations arguably appear rather flat-looking and one-dimensional, especially when compared to the various ‘camera angles’ employed approximately fifty years ago.

The regular cover art of "BEWARE THE PLANET OF THE APES" #2 by Taurin Clarke

Conan The Barbarian #7 - Titan Comics

CONAN THE BARBARIAN No. 7, February 2024

Whilst plenty of this title’s dog-brothers and sword-sisters will probably enjoy Jim Zub’s dalliance with Conan fondly remembering his romance with the now dead Queen of the Black Coast, some bibliophiles perusing the Canadian author’s opening to “Haunted” might feel he’s made Belit a little too bloodthirsty for their liking. Indeed, the notion of the Tigress’ captain suddenly pinning the helpless Cimmerian to the deck with a knife to his heart just after another of their passionate love-making sessions, and subsequently showing how easily she could murder him should the Shemite choose to do so, smacks of an insanity hard-to-abide in the partially-naked privateer - especially when the woman makes it clear that she’d have killed her "lion" with the weapon if he ever dared compare her great beauty to the sparkling treasure their pirating exploits acquire.

Rather pleasingly though, the Honorary Award-winner’s psychopathic depiction of the Barbarian’s one “true love” is soon cast aside in favour of the hideously possessed Chaundra, and the former friend’s terrifying attempt to gut Robert E. Howard’s creation with a small, curved blade. Whether the adventurer’s famous instincts should have forewarned him of the blank-eyed killer’s assault is probably debatable. But the fact the “silent crazed creature” manages to bury her hand-weapon deep into his back, before inhumanly shoving him through their bedroom’s wall, makes for an utterly enthralling scrap; “Her body is now a tool for forces unfathomable…”

Similarly as successful is arguably the tragic fall of the Gloryhounds Thieves Guild to the likes of Kamal and Greff, with the pitiable pair seemingly just as mindlessly cursed as poor Chaundra by Tarim’s Touch. The subsequent battle between the titular character and his bewitched comrades-in-arms is genuinely exhilarating to experience, courtesy of even the “anaemic lock springer who detested combat of all kind” apparently now being perfectly capable of butchering the increasing flagging Cimmerian where he stands.

Quite scarily helping to imbue this comic’s cast with the homicidal physicality needed to convince its audience of Conan’s near-lethal plight is Doug Braithwaite. The British artist does a top-tier job of imbuing Chaundra with all the demonic deadliness a reader would expect from a thief controlled by the power of the undead. Furthermore, there’s a convincing concern etched across the Barbarian’s face throughout this white-knuckle ride which tells of the heavily-muscled man's uneasiness when confronted with the mysteries of the Afterlife, and his sheer desperation to avoid being mutilated by the grey-skinned ghouls he's desperately battling against.

The regular cover art of "CONAN THE BARBARIAN" #7 by Alex Horley