Conan The Barbarian #7 - Marvel Comics

CONAN THE BARBARIAN No. 7, August 2019

Somewhat surprisingly depicting the titular character as a distraught, long-bearded rogue who is deep in mourning for his dead beloved Belit, Jason Aaron’s grim narrative for Issue Seven of “Conan The Barbarian” surely had a fair few of its 34,366 readers scratching their heads in bemusement. For although the depressed Cimmerian spends the vast majority of “Barbarian Love” surrounded by a bevy of magnificent pirate maidens who are all as deadly with a blade as they are exotic, the “fictional sword and sorcery hero” demonstrates a somewhat uncharacteristic disregard for carousing and revelling with the “dearies” until after this comic’s blood-thirsty conclusion.

Happily however, the Alabama-born author’s somewhat unrecognisable, ever-brooding warrior doesn’t detract too much from an otherwise intriguing tale concerning the heavily-bearded fighter ‘enjoying’ his revenge upon the fat trader Pheidus by throwing the overconfident fool into a river populated by crocodiles. Indeed, once the slightly pedestrian plot finally sees Conan facing his prey face-to-face, having had his female companions work “a lot of magic” upon his sour-smelling appearance, this twenty-page periodical’s script proves thoroughly entertaining, and it is actually a pity that the Hyborian Age hero’s partnership with the Barachan Isles beauties comes to an all-too abrupt end once the merchant is murdered; “After everything we’ve been through together. To just leave us here like this.”

Just as disappointing as this tale’s brusque conclusion is the American writer’s frustrating laziness when it comes to the Cimmerian’s 'super-human' abilities, and the man’s miraculous aptitude to cheat death no matter what the odds. The warrior’s brief battle against a pack of large wolves early on within this comic seems reasonable enough, considering he is armed with both sword and long-knife, as well as able to whittle the large canines down to a manageable handful with just a single thrust of his blades.

But later on Conan is made completely helpless with ropes, before being thrown into some crocodile-infested waters head-first. The odds genuinely seem stacked against his survival even after one of the women throws a sword into the lake after him, and yet within seconds, Aaron would have his audience believe the mighty adventurer had somehow reached the hand-weapon despite his legs and arms being tightly bound, cut himself free of his formidable bonds, and then butchered at least three of the hungry, large semi-aquatic reptiles without needing any air whatsoever..?

The regular cover art of "CONAN THE BARBARIAN" No. 7 by Esad Ribic